This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be knowledgeable about mental

health treatment, but also to those of you who might say, you'd never darken the door of a therapist.

And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite you to take a few minutes for your

own self-work. So that's just the beginning, right? That's like the opening up the window a crack.

And then the L is the hardest step, which is loving your inner critic. If you've had that really

harsh internal coach or that taskmaster or that judge, God forbid,

you know, that you're doing everything wrong and that is a really hard step.

But if you have the first three kind of started, it's much easier.

Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work.

I love going to conferences to learn things and to have the experience of listening

to someone who challenges my thinking or teaches me something new and exciting. But I also love

to have the experience of being taught by someone who shares many of my ideas or ways of

practicing. It's pretty affirming. You feel as if you've met a kind

kind. My guest today, Dr. Tara Kucino, is that for me. She's a clinical psychologist

as well as a yogi and mom. And she's a staff psychologist at Harvard's counseling

and mental health services. There's certainly a lot of

perfectionists there. And she's written a fairly new book, which I read cover to cover. It's called

The Perfectionist Dilemma, Learn the Art of Self-Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever.

Here are her words on how she got started. I started running workshops called

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