493 - But What if I Want the Relationship Escalator?

Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Multiamory, LLC

Sexuality, Self-improvement, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education

4.9 • 935 Ratings

🗓️ 20 August 2024

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today, we're discussing the relationship escalator, which is often criticized in non-monogamous spaces. However, some non-monogamous folks may want the same milestones and journey that the relationship escalator provides, so today we're talking about what can happen if you're someone who wants to move up the escalator with a partner or partners. We'll be going over some pros and cons of the relationship escalator, some research about how quickly people tend to escalate in relationships, and how to navigate your journey if the relationship escalator is something you want in your life. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYTreat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiGet access to “What’s Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboarding Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello multi-ammery listeners this is Dedic Kerr there are only four rooms left in the upcoming
0:06.1	somatic retreat for Polyammer's folks that I'm going to be co-leading with the amazing
0:10.3	and fantastic Orit Krueg in October.
0:14.0	If you've been feeling disconnected from your body
0:16.6	in your nomenogamy journey,
0:18.2	if you're struggling to make sense of difficult emotions,
0:22.1	or if you're just craving a supportive community of like-minded
0:25.6	individuals this retreat is for you and don't worry in addition to doing somatic
0:31.3	practices that are going to help you cultivate more joy and ease and closeness in your
0:35.8	relationships, you're going to have plenty of time to relax, connect with others, and enjoy the beautiful nature
0:42.2	around you.
0:43.4	And you don't need to be partnered to attend.
0:46.4	We're welcoming solo poly individuals, couples, triads, quads,
0:50.2	polycules, more.
0:51.9	Go to multi-amryory dot com slash retreat for more information and to
0:56.4	apply just for multi-amry listeners if you mention the code multi in your
1:00.8	application you can get a special discount on the retreat price again that's
1:05.1	multi-amory.com slash retreat and use the code multi and I hope that I can see you this
1:10.8	October.
1:19.0	Years ago, somebody asked me some version of the question of, so if you've chosen to forego something like getting married or having kids with a partner, how do you know that things
1:26.5	are deepening and moving forward in the relationship? And that this question I think was actually a lot deeper than maybe the question asker realized at least it hit me quite deeply.
1:38.0	You know I spent more time really chewing on like, huh, you know, what are the things that I look for that let me know?
	...

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