The only reason I took this case on a savage island off the coast of New Guinea

was that I'd been having a bout with a bottle of old fairy godmother,

and I was hoping to run into a native who would shrink my head.

This is another in the Adventures of America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator Johnny Dollar.

At insurance investigation, Johnny Dollar is only an expert.

At making out his expense account, he's an absolute genius.

He's an absolute genius. Defense account submitted by special investigator Johnny Dulles.

Two Seven Seas Maritime Underwriters Association, Hartford, Connecticut.

Attention, Enos McArdle, General Manager.

The following is an accounting of my expenditures

during my assignment on the island of Tinutan.

Or south of the equator, things can get hot

and more ways than one.

Or, mother, call my draft board.

I'm leaving the country again.

Expense account? Item one.

$830.81 and $81. And three and a half shillings.

Airfare, Hartford, Connecticut, to Port Moresby, territory of Papua, Island of New Guinea.

That's a long trip, brother.

By the time I got there, I felt that my spine could use a new seating arrangement.

Expense account, item two, $36.80.

New outfit consisting of bush jackets, linen shorts, and a fifth helmet.

...