491: Why Helping Your Kids Might Be Hurting Them with Elizabeth Pehrson
Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs
Karen Stubbs
4.9 • 936 Ratings
🗓️ 4 November 2025
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When it comes to raising independent kids, doing less can actually mean loving more. Karen and Emily welcome back mom of eight, Elizabeth Pehrson, whose last Wire Talk clip went viral with over 7.6 million views! In this powerful conversation, Elizabeth unpacks the long-term value of letting kids struggle, take responsibility, and learn from consequences. From packing lunches to doing laundry, she shares age-appropriate ways to teach kids ownership and why moms need to resist the urge to over-function.
Episode Recap:
- Elizabeth’s last conversation on Wire Talk struck a nerve with viewers (3:31)
- Her children are reaping the rewards of parents who did less, not more (8:16)
- Age-appropriate chores for all ages (9:28)
- How does not helping set our kids up for success in the long run? (14:30)
- We set ourselves up for failure when we put too much of ourselves into our kids (19:20)
- Overfunctioning means doing things for your child that they can do for themselves (17:23)
- How can we start small this week? (23:00)
- It’s not what matters today, it’s what matters when they’re 30 (29:11)
- Just because you can do, provide, or give…doesn’t mean you should (29:43)
Scripture: Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
Discussion Questions:
- What’s one area where you tend to step in for your kids instead of letting them handle it?
- How does doing less for your children actually prepare them for adulthood?
- Elizabeth said, “Just because you can do, provide, or give, doesn’t mean you should.” What does that look like in your home?
- What are some areas you need to teach your children to do for themselves this week?
- What might God be teaching you about releasing control as your children grow?
Resources:
- Follow Elizabeth online: www.instagram.com/octomama or www.instagram.com/theexchangeus
- Reach out to https://birdsonawiremoms.com/book-karen-to-speak to have Karen come speak in your community!
- Join our private FB group, BOAW Moms: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BOAWmoms
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | When my oldest went to UGA, I sat in the orientation and the vice president of student affairs stood up and he said, |
| 0:06.3 | moms, do me a favor. Call your children every day to tell them that you're okay, that you're getting out of bed and that you're surviving. And my jaw was on the ground. And my son's like, mom, mom. And so I was like, is he joking? and he said, my job cannot get done because of the number of students that come in and say, |
| 0:23.7 | can you call and check on my mom? mom, mom. And so I was like, is he joking? And he said, my job cannot get done because of the number of |
| 0:22.0 | students that come in and say, can you call and check on my mom? Every time I talk to her, she's crying. |
| 0:27.0 | You're kidding. This is the VP of Student Affairs at UGA. Wow. I couldn't believe it. And it's true |
| 0:33.1 | because we just do so much. They're gone and now we have no life outside of them. And what a burden to place on an 18-year-old. |
| 0:40.9 | Right? |
| 0:41.3 | That their mom is home sobbing because they can't basically get their life together because |
| 0:46.8 | their child moved out. |
| 0:48.0 | Welcome to Wire Talk, where we encourage and equip moms by answering practical questions |
| 0:52.9 | about motherhood. |
| 0:53.8 | We want to help instill God's truth in your heart so you can experience more joy and peace |
| 0:58.9 | on your journey of motherhood. Are you ready for some truth? Let's dive in. |
| 1:05.3 | Hey everybody and welcome to Wire Talk. If you are tuning in, thank you so much for |
| 1:10.0 | subscribing to wherever you're |
| 1:11.4 | listening, whether it's YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music, however you're listening to it. We couldn't |
| 1:16.4 | have this podcast without you guys, so don't forget to hit that subscribe button. But you are in |
| 1:21.3 | a treat for today, aren't we? Yes, they are. Elizabeth Pearson's going to be in the house. |
| 1:27.1 | Can I get a what? |
| 1:27.7 | What? |
| 1:28.4 | And she is fabulous and amazing. |
| 1:31.1 | The last time we had her on here, our clip, our short went viral. |
... |
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