#490: Why Presence Disappears the Moment Your Phone Appears

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Society & Culture, Relationships

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 15 December 2025

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode I share a revelation about our relationship with technology that completely reframes why your phone feels so overwhelming—and it has nothing to do with willpower or “addiction.” I unpack the unseen biological stress of living in constant social evaluation by algorithms, why simply having a phone on the table erodes presence and empathy, and how for the first time in human history a version of you exists at social risk 24/7. You'll learn what smartphones are really doing to our relationships — and why your nervous system feels it immediately…This episode will radically change how you understand your urge to check your phone, help you release shame, and empower you to create boundaries so technology serves your life instead of extracting from it. Resources: —Sign up for my Reclaim Your Attention Workshop here: https://go.markgroves.com/optin-page —How are your Nervous System + Attachment Style connected? https://markgroves.com/connectthedots -Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question? —Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! This episode is sponsored by: Cozy Earth: Use code MARK for 25% off sitewide at http://www.cozyearth.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast.
0:04.0	Today I'm coming at you with a solo episode with some mind-blowing awareness that I had about the nervous system and technology and how we relate to it and why we think that the problem we're having with our phones is because of dopamine and addiction.
0:19.4	And while those things are obviously part of it,
0:21.4	there's another thing happening that will totally blow your mind that you've probably never
0:26.8	thought of before. And so I'm so excited to share with you today this insight that I got because
0:32.4	it's going to make so many things make sense and make you understand why you feel the way you feel and also the desire
0:40.7	and motivation to want to change how you relate to your phone, not from a place of shame because of
0:45.0	addiction or anything like that, but from a place of awareness about your biology, about how your
0:50.5	body works. There's this interesting study I want to tell you about where they ask strangers
0:55.0	to have a conversation in a cafe and then they asked them about the quality of the conversation
1:00.7	and what they found in the study is going to blow your mind. What they found was that when a phone
1:06.2	was present in the conversation, just the phone being on a table, not face up, not face down,
1:11.6	the people reported that the conversation was less fulfilling, just because a phone was there,
1:18.2	and also that they felt, and this part's crazy, less empathic concern from their conversation
1:25.4	partner. So they felt like if our phone's on a table,
1:28.4	I don't feel like you're actually that empathic towards my experience. I don't feel like you're
1:33.2	really present. And that's because we think that they're thinking about their phone because
1:38.5	we're thinking about ours. Now, this actually speaks to a much crazier thing that I found out when I started to study my nervous system and my relationship to technology and social media.
1:50.3	If you haven't followed my story, I left Instagram thinking I would never come back.
1:54.7	And then while I was away from it, I discovered so much stuff.
1:58.2	I am obsessed with understanding how humans relate, and that was
2:01.9	interpersonal. That was about romantic relationships. That was about breaking up, and that was
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Mark Groves, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Mark Groves and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.