This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be knowledgeable about middle

health treatment, but also to those of you who might say, you'd never darken the door of a therapist.

And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite you to take a few minutes for your own self-work.

A hearty, sincere, and realistic look at yourself, including your faults or things you don't do very well,

a willingness to be honest about those things, to realize that they may have a painful or negative impact on others.

That's a healthy conscience.

In balance, a healthy willingness and even habit of looking to see where you might have messed up,

and then what you can do about it can be considered as humility.

Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work.

Before we begin today, I want to make sure that you realize that we're going to be

talking about different forms of abuse today, so obviously care should be given, and the various

crisis hotlines will be in the show notes. Accepting blame is something that most parents

teach their kids to do when something is truly their fault or a direct

result of something they did or said or led someone to believe. It's taking responsibility

for something, being accountable to yourself and to others. But when blame is taken for reasons that

aren't reflections of true integrity, there can be problems. A famous scene from Goodwill

hunting the movie between Robin Williams, who's a therapist and Matt Damon, shows the emotional

power of being told, it's not your fault. Will, Damon's character, has carried around a

secret sense of blame for something he didn't cause, nor did he have any control over.

...