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Shameless Sex

#485 The Truth About Giving Orgasms with Nina Hartley

Shameless Sex

Amy Baldwin

Education, Sexuality, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.43K Ratings

🗓️ 12 May 2026

⏱️ 75 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Can you actually "give" an orgasm to someone or "make them cum"? Join us on this episode of Shameless Sex as we dive into the world of self-love, partnered play, and the pursuit of ultimate pleasure with the legendary Nina Hartley. As we celebrate Masturbation May, Nina shares her insights on the importance of self-exploration and how it can transform your relationships and overall satisfaction. Here's what you can expect to learn from this juicy conversation: * The surprising truth behind the phrase "giving someone an orgasm" and why Nina prefers "trading" orgasms instead * How to shift your focus from the destination to the journey, and stay present in the moment * Nina's top tips for helping both penis and pussy owners reach new heights of pleasure * The importance of individual agency in sex and what Nina means by "the individual is the smallest unit of sex" * What's new and exciting in Nina's world, including her latest venture, nina.live/nina.com, and how you can work with her As a sex education icon with over four decades of experience, Nina brings a unique blend of clinical expertise, real-world experience, and plainspoken clarity to the conversation. With a background in nursing and a career spanning adult media, education, and advocacy, Nina is dedicated to promoting sex-positive feminism, free speech, and harm reduction. Tune in for a conversation that's equal parts informative, entertaining, and inspiring. You'll leave feeling empowered, educated, and maybe even a little bit more shameless. And as a teaser, get ready to rethink your approach to pleasure and intimacy - and maybe even discover a new appreciation for the power of solo play. More about Nina Hartley: Nina Hartley® is an American sex educator, author, speaker, activist, and performer whose career spans more than four decades. Trained as a registered nurse, she combines clinical knowledge with lived experience to discuss sexuality, consent, pleasure, communication, and harm reduction. Her work emphasizes education, personal agency, and the belief that sexuality is an important part of overall health and well-being. After earning a nursing degree from San Francisco State University, Hartley transitioned into media and education while continuing to draw on her medical background. In addition to her adult media career, she has lectured at universities, spoken on public panels, and advocated for honest, shame-free sex education focused on communication, consent, emotional literacy, and respect for boundaries. Hartley is the author of Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex and creator of the Nina Hartley® Guides video series. She also appeared in Boogie Nights and has frequently participated in documentaries and public discussions about sexuality and ethics. A longtime advocate for sex-positive feminism, free speech, and performer rights, Hartley continues to write and speak about intimacy, aging, relationships, and sexual ethics. Her work is grounded in the belief that informed, consensual sexuality is fundamental to human dignity and personal autonomy. To learn more about the fabulous Nina: X: @ninaland IG: @miss_nina_hartley http://nina.live (sfw) http://nina.com (nsfw) Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join us on the Killing Kittens cruise in the Mediterranean in June 2026: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠h⁠ttps://kkcruise.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠our book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now! Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shamelesssex.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to snag your copy Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Wish List⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠@shamelesssexpodcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to one of our fave podcasts Sex Ed with DB: https://www.sexedwithdb.com Other links: Spice up your sex and relationships with the FREE Attuned App, and use code SHAMELESS for 20% off a premium subscription at ⁠⁠https://www.getattuned.app⁠⁠ If you’re looking to reignite the spark and break out of routine, explore MARIEMUR luxury lingerie and leather accessories with 15% off using code SHAMELESS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mariemur.com/?utm_medium=influencer&utm_campaign=shameless&utm_source=influencer&utm_term=&utm_content=⁠ Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://uberlube.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get 15% off April's favorite vibrator - the Magic Wand Waterproof (and other sexy items) with code SHAMELESSSEX at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://purepleasureshop.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Transcript

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0:00.0

Okay, can we talk about my spring closet reset because I have been ruthlessly editing fewer pieces, better materials, no more fast fashion regrets hanging there to judge me.

0:12.2

Same over here. And honestly, Quince has become my secret weapon. Like beautiful everyday pieces made from 100% linen, organic cotton, super soft denim, styles starting around $50.

0:26.0

Now that's my new love language, lightweight, breathable, effortlessly put together.

0:30.6

And their leather bags made from 100% hand-woven Italian leather and look wildly more expensive than they are. I've gotten so

0:40.9

many compliments. I complimented you because I love it. I know me too. And here's the thing,

0:45.1

everyone. They work directly with ethical factories. Cut out the middlemen. So you're paying

0:50.4

for quality, not some inflated brand name. I just got their bamboo sheets and I genuinely cannot stop touching them, softer and more

0:58.7

luxurious than sheets I paid way too much money for.

1:02.3

And guess what?

1:03.4

I don't know what you're waiting for because you can get them right now too if you shop

1:07.5

at Quince for everything.

1:09.2

Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince.

1:11.4

Go to quince.com slash shameless for free shipping and 365 day returns.

1:16.6

Now available in Canada too.

1:18.7

Go to Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash shameless for free shipping and 365-day returns.

1:26.2

Quince.com slash shameless.

1:29.1

My goal in life as yours is to help people into their own bodies, in our room with the door

1:35.6

closed, not hurting anybody else.

1:37.9

Can you become calm in your body?

1:42.7

I'm Amy.

1:43.9

I'm April.

1:44.9

Certified sex educators, sex experts of the year, and bestselling authors.

...

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