Strength from Suffering

Let me start with this: the enemy wants you to believe that when hard things happen, you're done for. You're weaker. You're broken. That you can't be used by God anymore.

But that's a lie.

The truth is—God uses the hard things. He doesn't waste our pain. In fact, Scripture tells us over and over again that it's through trials that our faith, character, and hope are built.

 

The God Who Sees You and Knows You

Psalm 139 is one of my favorite passages because it's such a clear reminder: God knows everything about you.

He knows your name.

He knows what you're up against.

He even knows the number of hairs on your head.

Not only is God all-knowing and omnipresent—but He is with you in your heartache. He understands the depths of your pain. He is not far off.

 

When You're Facing Trouble-Lean in, Don't Run

In our home, we've gone through a season of back-to-back trials. Maybe you're there too. But here's what I've learned: running from pain doesn't produce growth—leaning into it does.

Jesus promised us in John 16:33 that there would be trouble in this world. But He also promised us His peace. Not peace like the world gives—but peace in the midst of chaos.

 

Endurance is Grown in the Fire

I want you to really let this truth soak in:

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials… for you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance." – James 1:2–4

Another translation puts it this way: "Consider it an opportunity for great joy." – NLT

It's not automatic joy—it's an opportunity. A choice. A lens to see your situation through.

That's why we need Scripture deep inside us—it reframes the pain.

 

What Doesn't Kill You... Can Sanctify You

Yes, this is hard. But what if you started saying: "This is hard—and I love a challenge"?

God allows us to struggle so we can grow the muscles we need—just like a good father teaching a child to walk. He doesn't always swoop in. Instead, He gives us space to build spiritual endurance.

And when endurance grows? Character grows. Hope grows. That's Romans 5. And hope, the Bible says, does not disappoint.

 

The Danger of Distraction in a Culture that Numbs

One of the biggest traps we face in hard seasons is distraction. Social media. TV. Scrolling. Escaping.

But that doesn't heal. It delays. It numbs.

If we want to grow in God's strength, we must lean in. Let the Scripture simmer in our hearts. Let the pain teach us.

 

What is the Gift in This Situation?

When things are hard, ask yourself: "What is the gift in this?"

Even if your spouse is rejecting you over and over again… what if this is the exact thing God is using to grow your spiritual resilience?

I tell my boys all the time, "You're learning perseverance right now."

And maybe, so are you.

 

You Can Grow in Love–Even When Marriage is Hard

Whether or not your spouse is loving you well right now, you can still choose to lean in. You can still love. Still serve.

Did you know that your brain actually releases happy chemicals when you serve someone else?

That means if you're hurting—serving someone can literally make you feel better.

 

Final Thoughts

You have a choice today.

You can become bitter, cynical, disappointed in God—or you can say:

"God, I trust You. There's something here I can't see yet—but I know You're good."

We don't get to tell God what He should've done. But we do get to trust that He's a good Father.

And when we do that...

We find His peace, His presence, and His purpose—even in the midst of pain.

 

We are rooting for you. We know God has good things for you. And whatever is going on right now that seems to much to bear, know that God will, He WILL, use it for good.

 

With love,

 

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS - If you're interested in healing your marriage and learning more about our programs, check out our FREE Masterclasses: Women's Masterclass & Men's Masterclass

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:

"Biggest struggles were with being unhappy, feeling hopeless about a positive future with him, not feeling accepted or seen, feeling like all he needed from me was physical intimacy and admiration but didn't care to know me or care about me. I felt unhappy and hopeless... (After Delighted Wife), I have had many celebratory moments! We are having more fun together, more intimacy in our sharing, much better physical intimacy...Now I enjoy spending time with him, look forward to dates and vacations, and we laugh and work things out together. I believe we are a great team! It's a miracle that we enjoy and like each other again."