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School of Self-Image

485: How to Enjoy Your Life More

School of Self-Image

Tonya Leigh

Self-improvement, Fashion & Beauty, Education, Arts

4.81.2K Ratings

🗓️ 18 March 2026

⏱️ 16 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

For a weekly dose of small but powerful shifts that elevate your self-image and your life, subscribe to my newsletter, The Edit. https://schoolofselfimage.com/edit

Twenty years ago, in my former life as a critical care nurse, I was standing at the nurses' station at 5AM thinking, "Is this it? Is this what my life is going to feel like?"

My life wasn't terrible. I had people I loved, a roof over my head, and a career that mattered. But I wasn't enjoying any of it. I was enduring it.

Looking back, I realized I was in a completely conditional relationship with my own life. And that's what we're talking about today – because I think so many women are doing exactly what I was doing: postponing the enjoyment of their own lives.

Here's what we cover:

• Why so many women are in a conditional relationship with their lives – and what it quietly costs them

• Why challenges aren't proof that life is off track, but part of the texture of a meaningful life

• The shift from chasing "there" to making here the destination

• How small daily choices can take you from enduring your life to actively engaging with it

• The self-image shift that helps you become the woman who enjoys her life now, not someday

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Website: https://schoolofselfimage.com/
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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I want to take you back to about 20 years ago. I'm working 12-hour night shifts in an ICU,

0:07.3

so there's fluorescent lights, beeping monitors, hanging out in hunter green scrubs, the kind of

0:13.7

environment that doesn't necessarily scream joie de vivre. And I remember one night, somewhere

0:19.0

around 5 a.m., standing at the nurse's station, thinking,

0:23.5

is this it? Is this what my life is going to feel like, just getting through it? And here's

0:31.2

what's interesting. It was not that my life was terrible. I had people that I loved. I had a roof over my head. I had a career

0:39.2

that mattered, but I wasn't enjoying any of it. I was enduring it. I was in survival mode. I was

0:47.6

waiting for some future version of my life to finally be one worth enjoying. I told myself things like when I lose the weight,

0:56.3

I'll finally enjoy getting dressed, or when I have a better schedule, I will enjoy my weekends,

1:01.9

or when I have more money, I will finally enjoy my life. It was always win, win, when. And then

1:09.5

something shifted. I don't even remember the exact moment,

1:13.6

but I started to realize that I was in a completely conditional relationship with my own life.

1:20.4

I was saying, I will love you when you change. And my life was just sitting there like,

1:26.3

okay, I guess we're both just waiting then.

1:29.4

That realization changed everything. And I can tell you sitting here almost 20 years later that the

1:36.3

woman I am today and the life that I have today all started with a decision. I made it under

1:43.7

fluorescent lights at five in the morning. I decided to

1:47.5

stop waiting to enjoy my life. And that is what we're talking about today, because I think that

1:53.6

most women are doing exactly what I was doing. They are postponing the enjoyment of their own

1:59.7

lives, and they don't even realize it.

2:02.7

So let's dive in.

2:05.7

Welcome to the School of Self-image, where our motto is simple.

...

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