Regular regular regular features, a regular regular regular features.

A regular regular features are regular features a show.

Hello and welcome to regular features, the podcast that's precisely as it was here to four and shall remain so forever and ever.

Amen.

I'm John Blythe, the one with a silky smooth voice like a thousand bald bearings in your

underwear. Just listen to my professional, competent voice. The mere fact that I can be this

moderate in tempo and calm of delivery is surely evidence that everything is going to be great.

On my digital right is Steve Hoggutty, a man whose similarly

malifluous delivery will chisel away at your vertebrae until you're nothing but

horizontal soup. Steve, can you use your beautiful Radio 4 continuity voice to

summarize what happened in the archers today? Thanks, Log. Today, an unexpected visitor to

Ambridge creates consternation in the Pargetta household, while Oliver Sterling gets more than he bargained

for when a sheepdog runs a mock in the big paddock. And what have you got for us today? Feature-wise,

Steve? Feature-wise, I've got a very, very above-board, not-offensive feature about Taylor Hawkins.

It honours him as the man rightfully deserves.

Marvelous. We don't deal in offence or shock here on regular features.

I'll thank you to keep it clean.

And if that was all we had for you today, we'd have fulfilled our legal obligations to you,

and you'd have no recourse in a court of law.

But it is not in fact all, and I've got a little Joe Strebbles in my top pocket,

waiting to slither hither into your jugger lugs like a romantic sign wave.

Joe, can you tell me in your best Radio 4 continuity voice what I'll be missing on the Archer's

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