483: How to Stop Seeking Approval from Others
The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant
Michelle Chalfant
4.9 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 6 November 2025
⏱️ 18 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If you've ever caught yourself wondering, "Am I good enough? Lovable enough? Worthy enough?"... this episode is for you.
Today, I'm diving into the powerful difference between external and internal validation, and how learning to validate yourself is the key to breaking free from codependency, people-pleasing, and enmeshment.
When we rely on others to tell us who we are, we lose touch with our true selves. But when we start building that validation from within, everything changes: our confidence, our sense of worth, and the way we move through the world.
In this episode, I share:
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How codependency develops when we seek our worth outside of ourselves
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Simple ways to practice self-validation every day
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Why internal validation becomes even more essential as we age
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How celebrating your small wins rewires your brain and boosts self-worth
This episode is all about bringing it home. Finding your value from within and learning to celebrate the beautifully unique human you already are.
✨ Ready to deepen your connection with yourself?
Join my free 30-Day Journaling Challenge at michellechalfant.com/journal and explore the power of daily reflection to build confidence, clarity, and self-trust.
Resources from this Episode:
The Adult Chair book is NOW AVAILABLE!
🎉 It's my birthday month! Celebrate with me by leaving a review for the podcast or The Adult Chair book. It's the best gift you could give!
MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT
Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com
Membership: The Academy of Awakening
https://www.theacademyofawakening.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Do you ever feel like you're the one holding everything and everyone together? Saying yes when you |
| 0:07.8 | want to say no, walking on eggshells to help keep the peace, or feeling guilty for even having |
| 0:13.8 | needs. And on top of that, you're probably exhausted. This is not love. This is codependency. And it's time to change that. In my brand new course, |
| 0:25.8 | I'm okay, only if you're okay, a masterclass to transform codependency, you'll learn how to break free |
| 0:33.7 | from people pleasing, set boundaries that feel good, and truly learn how to heal from |
| 0:40.2 | codependency. Join me at Michellechelfont.com forward slash codependency and learn how to come home |
| 0:47.6 | to yourself. That's Michelleshelfont.com forward slash codependency. |
| 1:06.3 | Hello, hello, everyone. |
| 1:08.7 | Welcome to the Michelle Shelfand Show. |
| 1:13.5 | As you all know, it's my birthday month. |
| 1:23.0 | Most people know, all my Scorpio sisters and brothers out there know November 9th, 119 is my birthday. And every year, I ask for one thing from all of you that do listen to the podcast. I ask for |
| 1:29.7 | wherever that you're listening to the show, a review. So I'd love to have you do that. But more |
| 1:35.1 | importantly this year, if you don't want to do that, that's fine. I would love a book review. |
| 1:41.8 | The adult chair book review. So wherever you bought the book, I would love a five-star |
| 1:46.6 | review. If you're going to leave less than five stars, you don't need to leave a review. |
| 1:52.0 | But no, I'd love, I honestly would love a book review wherever you've purchased the adult chair book. |
| 1:56.9 | So this is a brand new book that came out in May. And so many of you have told me how much you love it. I would love a review if you would not mind for my birthday. For my birthday present, that's what I would love from you. So thank you, thank you. So today's show turned out to be really great. I was talking with actually someone on my team and we happened to be on video. And she was asking me a |
| 2:19.6 | question around external validation versus internal validation. We were discussing some things |
| 2:26.1 | we're going to do this, this month around codependency. And what do you know it turned into a podcast? |
| 2:31.7 | I was so good. I'm like, this is such good stuff and we have it on, excuse me, we have it |
| 2:37.8 | on recording. So let's run it. So today is all about internal versus external validation. |
| 2:44.9 | And I got to tell you, I wove into this show enmeshment, codependency, and what internal and external validation does for us. |
... |
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