479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Jay Edidin & Miles Stokes
4.7 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 4 March 2025
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.
X-PLAINED:
- Triathlon
- The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
- Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
- Erotic skyscrapers
- Magneto (again) (forever)
- X-Men Tijuana Bibles
- The Genoshan Cabinet
- Dark friendship with benefits
- Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
- Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
- Carrion Cove
- Coloring symbolism and/or errors
- Spat and Grovel (kind of)
- Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
- Socialism!
- Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
- Neal Conan
- The Avengers of 2000
- Kirby Krackle
- Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
- Bonking
- Human nature
- Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
- Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Jay, what's triathlons deal? Um, it's a race in three parts. They're swimming, they're cycling, |
| 0:06.0 | and there's running. No, I mean, the superhero triathlon. I don't know. Is that even a thing? |
| 0:12.7 | Maybe they fly instead of running? No, no, no, not superhero triathlons. The superhero who goes by |
| 0:20.0 | the name triathlon. |
| 0:22.5 | Oh, okay, okay, that guy. So he's a disgraced Olympic athlete turned superhero. His powers |
| 0:27.4 | come from the triune understanding. That's that UFO cult, right? Yeah, they used some weird |
| 0:33.6 | relic to give him the powers of 3D man. Aren't most men 3D? |
| 0:38.8 | Well, yeah, but most of them don't live as two-dimensional entities in their brother's eyeglasses. |
| 0:43.3 | What? |
| 0:56.3 | I'm Jay Edited. And I'm Miles Edited. |
| 0:58.2 | And I'm Miles Stokes. |
| 1:00.7 | And we are here to Explain the X-Men. |
| 1:02.7 | Because it's about time someone did. |
| 1:07.0 | Welcome to episode 479 of Jay and Miles Explain the X-Men, |
| 1:11.1 | where we walk you through the ins, the outs, and the red cons of comics greatest superhero soap opera. |
| 1:17.3 | Welcome to our examination of one of, I think, the worst cases of wasted potential of the aughts. |
| 1:18.5 | Because today we are looking at a miniseries with the amazing title, Magneto Dark Seduction. |
| 1:26.3 | Magneto Dark Seduction. |
| 1:31.1 | And I was hoping, based on this title, that we were going to get a full, like, |
| 1:34.9 | Gothic horror romance with Magneto as the damsel. |
| 1:38.4 | I know, right? |
| 1:39.8 | But nobody really gets seduced at all, darkly or otherwise, unless we're talking metaphors, |
... |
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