479: Leadership Lies We Tell Ourselves, with Emily Leathers
Coaching for Leaders
Dave Stachowiak
4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 11 July 2020
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Emily Leathers: Emotional Leadership
Emily is an executive coach and software engineering manager. She has led teams and advised other managers for years. She’s seen the difference a truly passionate leader and manager can make for their team and the world around them.
Like a lot of managers and coaches, she’s had a front row seat to the patterns that cause a lot of leaders to overwork and over stress. She is the author of the guide The 7 Leadership Lies and she’s the host of the Emotional Leadership podcast. She’s also a member of the Coaching for Leaders Academy.
In this conversation, we discuss some of the common lies that leaders tend to tell themselves that lead to frustration and impostor syndrome. Then, we explore better ways to frame these beliefs, to lead with more confidence and effectiveness.
Key Points
Lie #1: I’m supposed to do everything I, my manager, or my team can think of.
Truth: A leader’s job is about prioritization – and that means prioritizing how we spend our own time as well.
Lie #2: There’s a timeline.
Truth: There is no rush. Work gets much easier when we turn off the unneeded sense of emergency. Prioritization is the aim.
Lie #3: Emotions don’t belong at work.
Truth: Every action we take is driven by an emotion. You are going to experience emotions at work – that or you’ll be staring at a wall all day without a single thought in your mind. Turning them off isn’t an option. Learning to allow your emotions and use them to your advantage is critical for your success as a leader.
Lie #4: I’m supposed to have an answer for any problem or question a team member asks.
Truth: A manager’s role is to help your team solve problems, not to solve problems for your team.
Resources Mentioned
- The 7 Leadership Lies
- Anger + Allowing Strong Emotions with Vivien Yang (Emotional Leadership podcast)
Related Episodes
- How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
- What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438)
- The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 458)
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | It'd be so nice if we could just have a logical objective perspective for a lot of situations, wouldn't it? |
| 0:05.6 | But of course it's human nature for us to fall victim to myths and fears. |
| 0:11.0 | On this Saturday cast, the leadership wise we tend to tell ourselves and how to do better. |
| 0:17.0 | This is Coaching for Leaders episode 479. |
| 0:21.0 | Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential. |
| 0:27.0 | Greetings to you from Orange County, California. |
| 0:33.0 | This is coaching for leaders, and I'm your host, Dave Stahoviac. |
| 0:37.3 | Leaders aren't born, they're made, and this weekly show helps you discover leadership |
| 0:42.2 | wisdom through insightful conversations. |
| 0:45.7 | This is the monthly Saturday cast. |
| 0:47.8 | About once a month here I air an episode on Saturday that's a chat with one of our Academy members or listeners. |
| 0:54.2 | The next regular episode is still coming on Monday, of course. |
| 0:57.5 | The Saturday cast are sponsored and brought to you by the Coaching for Leaders Academy. |
| 1:02.3 | The Academy is a year-long cohort of participant leaders |
| 1:05.0 | who work personally with me |
| 1:06.8 | to create movement in their leadership development |
| 1:09.4 | and organizational results. |
| 1:11.1 | You can discover more and get alerted about opportunities to apply for the academy by going over to coaching for leaders.com |
| 1:18.4 | Academy and today I'm really excited for this conversation because it is with one of our long time |
| 1:25.0 | Academy members and it really is going to bring us a perspective on so many of the |
| 1:31.2 | things that a lot of us struggle with in leadership and in fact of course |
| 1:34.9 | many of us do tell ourselves lies in leadership and how we are progressing on our |
... |
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