#474: The Surprises of Romantic Attraction

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.7 • 14.5K Ratings

🗓️ 16 January 2019

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

According to the popular, evolutionary theory of human attraction, people select romantic partners based on objective assessments of what's called their "mate value" -- the extent to which an individual possesses traits like good looks and status. But is that really all that's behind the way people pair up? My guest today has done a series of studies which add greater nuance to the mysteries of romantic attraction. His name is Paul Eastwick and he's a professor of psychology at USC Davis. We begin our conversation unpacking the fact that there's sometimes a gap between the sexual and romantic partners people say they prefer in the abstract, and the partners they actually choose in real life. We then turn to whether or not the popular idea that men value physical attractiveness more than women, and that women value status and resources more than men, is really true. We also talk about how people's consensus over who is and isn't attractive changes over time, and whether it's true that people of equal attractiveness generally end up together. We end our conversation discussing how these research-based insights can be applied to the real world of dating, and why less attractive people may have better luck meeting people offline than on. Some interesting insights in this show that lend credence to the old adage that there's someone for everyone. Get the show notes at aom.is/eastwick.

Transcript

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0:00.0	[♪ INTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
0:15.0	Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast.
0:18.4	According to the popular evolutionary theory of human attraction, people select romantic
0:22.3	partners based on objective assessments of what's called their mate value, the extent
0:26.3	to which individual possesses traits like good looks and status.
0:29.5	But is that really all that's behind the way people pair up?
0:32.3	When my guest day has done a series of studies which add greater nuance to the mysteries
0:35.8	of romantic attraction.
0:37.0	His name is Paul Eastwick, his professor of psychology at UC Davis.
0:39.8	We begin our conversation unpacking the fact that there's sometimes a gap between the
0:43.3	sexual or romantic partners people say they prefer the abstract and the partners they
0:46.8	actually choose in real life.
0:48.3	We then turn to whether or not the popular idea that men value physical attractiveness
0:52.0	more than women and that women value status and resources more than men is really true.
0:56.0	We also talk about how people's consensus over who is and isn't attractive changes over time
1:00.3	and whether it's true that people have equal attractiveness generally end up together.
1:04.0	We enter conversation discussing how these research-based insights can be applied to the real
1:07.7	world of dating and why if you're not Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Kerry Grant, 1980s, Tom Selleck,
1:14.1	and whatever famous handsome man you want.
1:16.1	If you're not any of those guys, you may have better luck meeting people offline than online
1:20.3	in an app.
1:21.0	Some interesting insights in the show that Lin Credence, the old adage that there's someone
	...

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