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Kump

47 - All The President's Kumps

Kump

Ray Kump

Comedy

4.8548 Ratings

🗓️ 13 September 2020

⏱️ 47 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ray talks about Cuties, Bob Woodward, San Fransisco, and Halloween.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello and welcome to comp.

0:19.0

I feel like I'm leaning. I need to develop a new system here. If you're not watching on the podcast, you don't know this, you don't see what I'm doing. But I lean into the wall. I need to, the things over there, I'm over here. I could just on the new studio. It doesn't matter. I could, you know, have a pork grind dispenser.

0:37.9

Just a fucking dangle.

0:40.1

One of those things called.

0:42.2

Chikaro, I don't know.

0:43.6

I like pork rinds, but the other one, they get too hard.

0:46.8

And the dust gets caught in my throat.

0:49.1

And then I just start coughing like a maniac.

0:53.2

People think I have COVID. They call the cops on me and they try to get me quarantined. I don't leave the house. I mean, I have the pork grins delivered or the Chikaros, the Chikarillo. I don't know what I'm not trying to butcher it. I don't know what they're called, but I just, I have a problem where I choke on the dust.

1:11.7

And people, I'm not saying it's a, it's a, you know, a big deal.

1:15.7

I'm not asking, I'm not putting a GoFund me out to have neck surgery or throat surgery or

1:21.4

fat reduced from my neck.

1:24.6

But it would be nice if I could eat these chikarros. They're tastier, I think, than regular

1:31.3

pork rinds. They have a little more of that barbecue flavor because they're harder, I guess.

1:36.3

They soak up the barbecue dust. What is barbecue dust? What is it supposed to taste like?

1:43.3

I mean, I'm like a good barbecue potato chip, but what is that? Is that what's it supposed to taste like i mean i like a good barbecue potato

1:44.7

shit but what is that is that some kind of uh is that supposed to taste like the chicken

1:50.9

that's supposed to taste like a fucking you know if it's just a smoke i mean i what am i

1:55.6

tasting there it's it's good but what is that flake is a barbecue sauce i guess i guess it could be barbecues someone

2:02.7

just started mixing barbecue sauce and what is barbecue sauce it's a strange concept i guess i guess it is

2:09.6

that kind of distinct it's sugar it's like sugar it's a ketchup but something else i don't know

2:15.1

i'm not food man my fat man i'm not food man i man. I don't know all the ins and outs. Um, I would love to. I should get barbecue from my fucking weird outside area. I guess you'd call it a balcony. Uh, I'm doing, you know, keto again. So it would be nice if I could eat these chichorellos, but I guess I'll just settle for

...

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