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The Art of Manliness

#466: What It's Like to Become a Widower

The Art of Manliness

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.714.5K Ratings

🗓️ 12 December 2018

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What’s it like for a man to lose the person at the very center of his life — his wife? Maybe you know firsthand, because you’ve lost a spouse yourself. Or maybe you know a friend or family member who’s a widower, and have wondered what he’s going through and how to help him. Or maybe you’re just curious about what this journey is like, should you, heaven forbid, become a widower one day yourself. No matter which group you fall into, we could all benefit from understanding more about the journey widower’s take through loss, grief, and the effort to establish a new life. Here today to walk us through this process is Herb Knoll, who lost his wife himself and has dedicated his life to helping his fellow widowers. Herb is the founder of the Widower’s Support Network which provides free advice and resources to men who’ve lost their spouses, and the author of the book The Widower’s Journey. Today on the show, we discuss Herb’s own experience of becoming a widower, how and why he found that there were few resources available specifically focused on helping men deal with the loss of their wives, and how that catalyzed him into creating such resources himself. We then get into the different issues widowers face, including loneliness, isolation, depression, a decline in their own physical health, and poor decision making, and how and why these issues can manifest themselves differently in men than women. Herb also shares tips on what family and friends can do to support a widower in the months after his spouse dies. We then discuss what dating and marriage is like for a widower, including when the time is right to start dating again and how to handle a second marriage with kids, both financially and psychologically. Get the show notes at aom.is/widowersjourney.

Transcript

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0:00.0

[♪ INTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

0:15.0

Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast.

0:19.0

What's it like for a man to lose the person to the very center of his life, his wife?

0:23.9

Maybe you know firsthand because you've lost his spouse yourself, or maybe you know a friend

0:27.6

or a family member who's a widower and have wondered what he's going through and how to help him.

0:31.3

Or maybe you're just curious about what this journey is like.

0:33.3

Should you, heaven forbid, become a widower one day yourself.

0:36.8

A matter which group you fall into, we could all benefit from understanding more about the journey.

0:40.6

Widowers take through loss, grief, and the effort to establish a new life.

0:43.8

Here today to walk us through this process is Herb Noel, who lost his wife himself and has dedicated his life

0:48.4

to helping his fellow widowers. Herb is the founder of the widower's support network,

0:51.7

which provides free advice and resources to men who've lost their spouses.

0:54.9

And the author of the book, The Widower's Journey.

0:56.9

Today on the show, we discuss Herb's own experience of becoming a widower.

0:59.9

How and why he found that there were few resources available, specifically focused on helping men deal with the loss of their wives,

1:05.2

and how that catalyzed him creating such resources himself.

1:08.1

We then get into the different issues widowers face, including loneliness, isolation, depression,

1:12.7

and decline in their own physical health, poor decision-making,

1:15.4

and how and why these issues can men assess themselves differently than men and women.

1:19.5

Herb also shares tips on what family and friends could do to support a widower,

1:22.4

the months after his spouse dies.

1:24.0

We then discuss what dating and marriages like for a widower,

...

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