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Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

464: When the Marriage Is OVER. Lysa TerKeurst on Narcissistic Abuse 101, Ending Self-Betrayal, and Why Unhealthy People Never Meet a Boundary They Like

Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

Christopher Cook

Mental Health, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 528 Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There's a moment when "endure it" becomes "end it," not because you stopped believing in God's power to heal, but because refusing to betray your God-given boundaries is how you stop betraying yourself. This week on Win Today, Lysa TerKeurst joins me to confront the realities so many live in silence: when it's biblically wise to end a marriage, how we talk ourselves out of our own boundaries, why loneliness is sometimes God's operating room, and what you must know about narcissistic abuse—gaslighting, trauma bonds, and DARVO—so you can name what's happening and get safe. If you've been praying for clarity while living in chaos, this conversation is a lifeline.

Guest Bio

Lysa TerKeurst is President and Chief Visionary Officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries and a #1 New York Times bestselling author. Having walked through public heartbreak and private rebuilding, she helps people leave destructive patterns with biblical clarity and practical courage. Today isn't about her résumé; it's about your safety, your sanity, and your future.

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Episode Links

Transcript

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0:00.0

The Art of Leadership Network.

0:03.2

But if this person is unwilling or incapable of making the necessary changes, I cannot

0:09.4

force them to change.

0:11.3

So at that point, I don't put a boundary on them.

0:13.7

I put a boundary on myself by reducing the access that I grant down to their demonstrated

0:19.8

level of responsibility.

0:22.6

Helping you design your roadmap to wholeness from the inside out.

0:27.6

This is Win Today.

0:30.5

And now, here's your host, Christopher Cook.

0:34.9

Hey, you guys, welcome to the podcast.

0:36.8

Thanks so much for hanging out with me this week. Buckle up.

0:40.3

We got a conversation for you today. You know, there's a difference in life between forgiveness

0:44.8

and access. I put something on Facebook a month ago and it was about forgiveness and how forgiveness

0:52.5

does not mean reconciliation in the relationship,

0:55.8

especially when that relationship isn't safe.

0:57.9

And someone had commented, no, I disagree with you.

1:00.0

That's not how Jesus was.

1:01.3

And I'm like, you can't find that in the New Testament.

1:05.4

Forgiveness is between you and the Lord.

1:09.0

Forgiveness takes the chains off of your life.

1:12.1

But forgiveness does not mean you step into an unsafe relationship again.

1:16.5

Let me say it again.

...

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