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If you're just joining us, this is part two of a multi-part interview with Lindsay Hansen Park.

We're talking about Lindsay's battles with eating disorders and first restricting but then bulimia.

And we're going to go on to talk about body image in the church and other types of issues.

But Lindsay, you've been so gracious and kind to talk us through these really dark times for you.

Now, by what age are you hitting this really low point?

I was 19.

Okay, so we're talking all this spiraling out of control within a year or two?

Yeah, it started at 17 when I started restricting and then 19. Yeah, it happened really fast.

And is your potential fiance still on his mission at this point?

He is.

Okay, okay. So wow, I'm imagining this over like four or five years and you're saying you can go from relatively healthy to wanting to disappear within a matter of a year or two.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, it felt so long.

I remember thinking dramatically at that age, like I feel like I've grown a hundred years inside myself.

But I mean, I just every day was punishing. It was really hard.

Yeah. Okay, so what if you feel like you want to disappear, if you feel trapped, like there's no escape, the suicide isn't an option, but getting better isn't an option.

How in the world does anyone change? How does anyone get better?

Well, I'm still trying to live my life, at least this facade of a life, right?

Because clearly, whatever one thought of me was so important.

So I'm going to church and of course, the whole award is asking about the missionary. I'm this award golden girl. I've come back from school and you know, some of them think I look great.

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