Well, hello ladies and gentlemen of the rise together podcast listener audience. This is Dave Hollis. I am here without Rachel today because I'm going to talk about something that I'm not sure she has as much insight into.

We did a one person survey. Hey Dave could you tell me what do men want? Look, I'm not a proxy for all of male kind. I am a single human man, but I do have from my perspective the things that I hope that Rachel in hearing this might know so that as we have this ambition for an exceptional relationship.

Her knowing these things as a priority for me might allow us to take steps toward an even better relationship over time. If you're listening to this with your partner if you're listening separately, I would encourage you take a second after I've gone through the things that I think as a party of one human on this planet are important to men what men really want in a relationship and have a conversation with the person you're trying to do.

And you're trying to be an exceptional relationship with to find out if these things resonate or if I'm completely crazy and this is a completely unique to me Dave Hollis kind of thing. My hope would be that in me sharing a little of what I think I want in a relationship with Rachel Hollis, it might provoke a good conversation about what you might want as the man in a relationship.

Hi, I'm Rachel Hollis and I'm Dave Hollis and we're married for like 15 years and we have four kids. That's like a thousand kids. We've been foster parents to four kids as well and we're running a business together. That's a lot of things. It is a lot of things.

But we know that it's possible to have an exceptional relationship regardless of the stresses you have in your life.

So if you want some tips and tricks on how we get through all the things, this is rise together.

The first thing that men want, men want to be respected. Men really I think there's a lot of ego wrapped in a lot of the things that I wrote down.

But we're a fragile being. We men as much as we never would like to necessarily confess to the fact that ego drives a lot of what it is that we want or need in life.

The reality is we really want to be respected in a relationship. And in large part we want to be respected because men feel respect as love.

The feeling that you respect us as a partner, the feeling that you respect the role that we play for our family, the respect that you assign to the work that we do outside of the house.

Those are ways that we interpret and process your affection for us, your love for us.

So if you're able as the partner to a man in a relationship to demonstrate your faith in your man's capabilities with your actions, the way that you appreciate his thinking with your words or the way that you might affirm the smartness and how he approached and solved a problem, those are ways that he is going to feel respected in the relationship and ultimately also feel loved.

For me, that times when Rachel has been able to pause our life and tell me in a supersensitial kind of way that she has an appreciation for the contribution that I make to this relationship that she has assigned value to the way that I was able to figure that thing out, the way that I was able to show up well for one of my sons or for Noah.

Those times are times where man, I feel seen and in feeling seen in that capacity, feel that respect.

There's been times definitely where being second guest about even a small thing, a trivial thing, a thing that doesn't actually matter that much in our relationship, like I go to the grocery store, I pick up the wrong kind of pepper, not like sprinkle pepper, but grows out of a ground.

I don't know, do peppers grow on the ground? It doesn't matter. I got a red pepper instead of a green pepper and was given a little bit of grief about the picking up the wrong pepper.

I'm driving, I listen to ways and ways decides to take me on what we call a Dave cut, which is the longest way possible to get from point A to point B, like belittling that small thing.

In a weird way, in our relationship has sometimes had the effect of me wondering if there are other things that there is less confidence in or less faith in and ultimately undermines a little bit of how I might feel respected in this relationship, because I made a silly stupid mistake, because I did this thing this one time, because I went to the store and grabbed the wrong darn pepper, dang it green pepper, get in my basket.

Those little things can sometimes become for men when we're in the privacy of our own heads and can acknowledge that yet we get insecure about things too.

An indicator of the possibility that when it comes to bigger topics, where the wisdom that we might have, the judgment that we might have can be questioned, we might decide that it's being questioned on small things and applied then to some of the big things.

There's a lot of weight that is applied in the respect department to wisdom and to judgment. It doesn't mean you can't disagree. I want to be clear on that, because disagreeing is an important part of relationship too and finding the right way to do it, but the areas where I've been most sensitive in our relationship were the times when my wisdom or my judgment on a topic was the subject of conversation.

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