These aren't the stories your mother told you.

No, these are the other stories.

There is a man known as Andy Goss.

Legend has it, Andy was a time traveller because he always knew what was about to happen.

He'd catch cups as there were drops, eat his microwave meals just before he got too cold,

and also he could smell danger from up to a mile away.

Andy Goss has placed his allegiance to us in the form of a Patreon pledge

and is joining us in the upcoming war on that great bearded bastard from the North Pole,

Santa Claus.

If you too want to hole up with us in the H&C offices and prepare for a blood-fueled fight

to the death of that jellybellied dead act known as Santa Claus,

go to patreon.com forward slash hawk and cleaver and pledge from as little as a dollar a month.

There you'll get access to ad-free episodes, bonus exclusive episodes,

and also you'll get to punch Santa Claus in the face.

So, that's patreon.com forward slash hawk and cleaver.

Attention all writers and artists.

We are having a Christmas contest for everybody in the Facebook group.

Joshua Boucher has put up the details, but the gist is there is a flash fiction contest as well as an art contest,

and the winners will have their work featured on a bonus Christmas cracker episode coming this,

while Christmas.

The contest will run until December 3rd, so get your submissions in before then,

over at Facebook.com forward slash groups, forward slash hawk and cleaver.

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