458: The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier

Coaching for Leaders

Dave Stachowiak

Education, Business, Management, Self-improvement, Careers

4.8 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2016

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Michael Bungay Stanier: The Advice Trap Michael Bungay Stanier is at the forefront of shaping how organizations around the world make being coach-like an essential leadership competency. His book The Coaching Habit* is the best-selling coaching book of this century, with over 700,000 copies sold and 1,000+ five-star reviews on Amazon. He’s the author of the new book The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever*. In this conversation, Michael and I discuss why advice is overrated and often displays poor leadership. Michael shows us how to avoid coaching ghosts and dealing with people who can’t stop talking. Plus, we explore how to keep people engaged in the conversation, become more coach-like, and qualify advice when the time is right to give it. Key Points Advice is overrated. Not advice itself. There’s a time and a place for good advice. The problem is the default habit of giving advice. -Michael Bungay Stanier The Advice Trap: The more I give them advice, the more they want my advice. Three reasons your advice doesn’t get results: You’re solving the wrong challenge. You’re proposing a mediocre solution. You’re displaying poor leadership. Avoid coaching the ghost (the person note present) and yarning (excessive conversation that isn’t leading anywhere productive). To keep people engaged in the conversation, use the TERA principles: Tribe: Be on their side. Expectation: Show them the future. Rank: Raise them up. Autonomy: Give them the choice. When you do give advice, consider diminishing it with: “Here’s my best guess…” “I may be wrong…” “This is just one idea/option/thought…” Resources Mentioned The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever* by Michael Bungay Stanier The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever* by Michael Bungay Stanier MBS.works Book Notes Download my highlights from The Advice Trap in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way to Stop Rescuing People From Their Problems, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 284) How to Stop Having the Same Problems, with Corrinne Armour (episode 387) Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440) How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Someone comes seeking your help, maybe even asking your advice.
0:04.0	Instead of giving your best answer, you may consider being humble and staying curious.
0:09.0	On this episode, Michael Bongay Stagner on avoiding the advice trap and the invitation to be more coach-like.
0:16.0	This is Coaching for Leaders episode 458.
0:20.0	Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential.
0:24.0	Greetings to you from Orange County, California.
0:30.0	This is coaching for leaders and I'm your host, Dave Stahoviac.
0:36.4	Leaders aren't born, they're made, and this weekly show helps you discover leadership wisdom
0:41.5	through insightful conversations.
0:44.0	One aim all of us have is to be more coach-like in our leadership
0:49.0	so that we can really help elicit the best out of others and the person who probably is
0:56.3	the world's expert on coaching is Michael Bunge Stanier. He's been on the show many
1:01.1	times before and he is back with some new work on how to help us to be more coach-like.
1:06.3	I am thrilled to welcome Michael back to the show today.
1:09.0	Michael is at the forefront of shaping how organizations around the world make being coach-like an essential
1:15.3	leadership competency.
1:16.8	His book, The Coaching Habit, is the best-selling Coaching Book of this century, with over 700,000
1:22.4	copies sold and 1,000 five-star reviews on Amazon.
1:27.0	In 2009, he was named the number one thought leader in coaching by Thinkers 50.
1:32.0	Michael was also the first Canadian coach of the year and has been
1:35.1	named a global coaching guru since 2014. He grew up in Australia, went to school in the UK,
1:42.2	and now lives in Canada, which is why he's such a nice
	...

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