457 SelfWork: How To Be Enough: A Conversation with Ellen Hendriksen

The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 1 August 2025

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How To Be Enough, a new book by Ellen Hendriksen is a must-read for anyone struggling with perfectionism and shame.

She's a clinical psychologist at Boston University Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, and the author of a new book, How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists. She's already a very successful author having published the book How To Be Yourself in 2018 on conquering social anxiety. And I was incredibly interested in talking with her because we are obviously both very concerned about rising perfectionism. She states: "Perfectionism isn't about striving to be perfect. It's about never feeling good enough."

I really enjoyed this conversation. She's funny. Her book is full of pragmatic advice as well as personal stories. She's down to earth, and we had a real human to human connection - woman to woman - "perfectionist to perfectionist."

Advertisers Links:

Click HERE for the NEW GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.
0:10.3	At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,
0:15.7	whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.
0:21.3	Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be
0:26.1	knowledgeable about mental health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never
0:31.3	darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite
0:37.1	you to take a few minutes for your
0:39.1	own self-work. I don't love putting my struggle of weaknesses out there and at the same time
0:49.5	when I do inevitably it leads to more connection and leads to reactions not of rejection
1:00.4	or criticism or pity, but of, oh my gosh, thank goodness, me too.
1:06.1	Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work.
1:10.5	I'm delighted today to introduce to you Ellen Hendrickson.
1:14.4	She's a clinical psychologist at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders
1:19.2	and the author of How to Be Yourself, Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.
1:25.9	So you know I was incredibly interested in talking with her because we are obviously both very concerned about the rising perfectionism.
1:34.3	And I loved the way she actually defined perfectionism.
1:38.3	Privately, you may feel like you're falling behind, faking it or different from everybody else.
1:43.3	Your eagle-eyed,
1:44.5	inner quality control inspector highlights every mistake. You try hard to avoid criticism,
1:49.9	but criticize yourself. Getting it right is your guiding light, but it's lit the way to a place
1:55.1	of dissatisfaction, loneliness, or disconnection. And of course, you know I take that even further
2:00.4	with my idea perfectly in depression.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 13 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.