This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be

knowledgeable about mental health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never

darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite

you to take a few minutes for your

own self-work. I don't love putting my struggle of weaknesses out there and at the same time

when I do inevitably it leads to more connection and leads to reactions not of rejection

or criticism or pity, but of, oh my gosh, thank goodness, me too.

Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work.

I'm delighted today to introduce to you Ellen Hendrickson.

She's a clinical psychologist at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders

and the author of How to Be Yourself, Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.

So you know I was incredibly interested in talking with her because we are obviously both very concerned about the rising perfectionism.

And I loved the way she actually defined perfectionism.

Privately, you may feel like you're falling behind, faking it or different from everybody else.

Your eagle-eyed,

inner quality control inspector highlights every mistake. You try hard to avoid criticism,

but criticize yourself. Getting it right is your guiding light, but it's lit the way to a place

of dissatisfaction, loneliness, or disconnection. And of course, you know I take that even further

with my idea perfectly in depression.

...