449: Summer Series - How to Have a Love Affair with Yourself
School of Self-Image
Tonya Leigh
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 9 July 2025
⏱️ 31 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Summary
The Most Important Relationship: Loving Yourself First
The most crucial relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. This relationship is foundational because you are with yourself every moment of every day. If this relationship is not nurtured and solid, it can lead to a life filled with unnecessary struggles and hardships.
Tonya Leigh reflects on the importance of self-love and the pivotal relationship we have with ourselves. Following the recent loss of her father, who embodied love and encouraged her to love others, Tonya shares her realization that she often withheld love from herself. She discusses the common tendency to place conditions on self-love, such as needing to lose weight or achieve perfection before feeling worthy of love. This episode revisits the themes of the earlier podcast "How to Have a Love Affair with Yourself," emphasizing that fostering a strong relationship with oneself is crucial for a fulfilling life.
Join Tonya as she encourages listeners to embrace unconditional self-love and nurture their most important relationship.
Talking Points:
00:53 - Loss of My Father

01:46 - Self-Love Journey: Early Realizations

04:41 - Alone Time: Getting to Know Yourself

06:10 - Standing by Yourself
07:27 - Oscar Wilde Quote: Lifelong Romance with Yourself
10:31 - Listening to Your Desires

17:34 - Speaking Lovingly to Yourself

00:20:23 - Filling Your Love Tank

00:22:11 - Treating Yourself Well
00:22:11 - Dressing Up for Yourself
00:28:00 - Emotional Scale: Attracting Love
00:29:17 - Staying in a State of Love
Quotes:
"I realized that the one person that I'm with every single day, I often withheld the most love from, and that was myself."
 "When you develop that kind of relationship with yourself, you really do become unstoppable."
"We have to be with ourselves for the rest of our lives, which is why it is the number one relationship for you to focus on cultivating."
"If you want to have a love affair with yourself, it's going to require that you listen to your desires of what you want."
"The most amazing gift that I can give the world is to love myself madly."
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the summer series. And I want to start with asking you a question. When you think about the most |
| 0:06.9 | important relationship in your life, who comes to mind, if you didn't immediately think of yourself, |
| 0:14.3 | I think this episode might be for you. Because if I've learned anything, it's this. You are with you every single second of every |
| 0:24.5 | single day for your entire life. And if that relationship is not solid, life will be a lot harder |
| 0:32.4 | than it needs to be. And that's why in this episode, we are revisiting an podcast from the past called How to |
| 0:39.6 | Have a Love Affair with Yourself. So let's dive in. Welcome to the School of Self Image, |
| 0:47.1 | where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, Master Life Coach, Tanya Lee. |
| 0:53.6 | Hello, my friends, and welcome back to our summer series where we are revisiting |
| 0:59.5 | some of the episodes from the past. |
| 1:02.8 | Now, since last week's first episode of the summer series dropped, I lost my father. |
| 1:09.7 | And if I had to encompass his spirit in one word, it would be love. He was the most |
| 1:18.5 | loving human I've ever met in my life. He loved people. He loved life. He loved his church, he loved his family. He always would say, |
| 1:31.6 | just love others. And in my life, I spent a lot of time loving everybody else, but I realized |
| 1:39.6 | that the one person that I'm with every single day I often withheld the most love from. |
| 1:46.7 | And that was myself. |
| 1:48.3 | Like so many women, I always thought I needed to change myself in order to love myself. |
| 1:52.9 | I love myself when I've lost the weight. |
| 1:55.4 | I love myself when I'm perfect. |
| 1:57.6 | I love myself when I'm better with money. |
| 2:00.2 | Like it was always conditional love that I |
| 2:03.5 | had for myself. And so thank goodness early on I realized that this approach wasn't working. I could not |
| 2:12.2 | hate my way to a beautiful life. And I also realized like I am the one person I am with all of the time. |
... |
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