This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be

knowledgeable about middle health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never

darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite

you to take a few minutes for your

own self-work. Many betrayed people say is just as difficult to work through than any sexual

or emotional indiscretion. It's the deceit that's hard. The therapist needs to guide the couple

carefully through the betrayer's tangle of self-protection

or protection of a past lover and the defensiveness and shame that comes with it, while also

working with the betrays, desperate, wanting, and deserving of the absolute truth.

Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work.

The episode today is once again motivated by a wonderful question

from a listener. He's a guy who's been in a relationship for many years, hadn't fair,

or as he says, I cheated, but now realizes that he still has deep feelings for his girlfriend

and wants to know how the two of them need to approach reconciliation

together.

I was very struck by his sincerity and honesty.

But there are very specific things I've learned about healing from an affair or affairs,

because sometimes it's both people.

It's not easy, but it can be done.

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