This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be

knowledgeable about middle health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never

darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite

you to take a few minutes for your

own self-work. You're kind of doing an autopsy on your arguing. You're going back and looking

at it and saying, where do we get stuck? Or do I get stuck? And both of you claim, what is yours about

that? What is your roadblock? And let the other person know it so both of you can do your best to change.

Welcome to this week's edition of self-work. I've worked with so many couples on how to work through conflict.

And there are definite things to do and things not to do.

As I said in the last episode, which you might want to listen to if you haven't, a relationship that avoids conflict, where one or both people or even a group of people don't talk about the elephant in the room or if they sense conflict they'll change the

subject but there never seems to be time for that thing we've been saying we need to talk about

so in this episode we're going to focus on some of the common ways people talk about having conflict

are ways they believe they're tolerating conflict and what's unhealthy about those

methods. And we'll also focus on how to realistically approach especially chronic conflict.

What's wrong in a marriage or a relationship when arguments, quote unquote, go nowhere?

When you're having the same argument over and over again,

it's exhausting. We're actually going to address seven excuses or justifications or what

are wrongly called reasons about how conflict sticks around and doesn't get worked through.

But first, AG1 has a new generation product. I just got my new box, and I cannot wait to try it.

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