#446 How to Be a More Positive Person
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
4.6 • 849 Ratings
🗓️ 24 March 2025
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Tired of being your own worst critic? What if I told you that positivity isn’t something you’re born with—it’s a skill you can learn? ✨
In this powerful episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast, I sit down with Dr. Nick Holton of the Anti-Fragile Academy to explore how to be a more positive person—without ignoring your difficult emotions or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. Because here’s the truth: toxic positivity isn’t helpful, and sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is feel your feelings and grow from them.
We’re diving deep into the science of positive psychology, how to stop gaslighting yourself with "just think positive" advice, and practical mindset-shifting tools that can help you feel stronger, more resilient, and yes—more joyful, too.
Timestamps:
00:00 – Why ‘just be positive’ backfires
01:12 – Meet Dr. Nick Holton
03:18 – What positive psychology actually is
04:38 – The real role of emotions in your wellbeing
06:33 – How to start changing your mindset
08:09 – Growth vs. Fixed Mindsets
10:32 – Why acceptance is the missing piece in positivity
21:25 – The power of gratitude
31:24 – You don’t control performance (and why that’s great news)
33:10 – Visualizing failure? Yep—it’s a secret to resilience
34:41 – What elite athletes know about mindset that you should too
40:16 – Turning trauma into growth: How to bounce forward
42:51 – Want to feel better? Expand your emotional vocabulary
48:32 – What passion + perseverance have to do with great relationships
54:20 – Access real growth tools
If you're craving more clarity, joy, and empowerment in your life—or if you’re just feeling a little stuck and unsure how to shift your mindset—this episode is filled with practical wisdom that can help.
And if you’re ready to take the next step, we’re here for you. Book a free consultation at Growing Self, and we’ll help you get matched with the right therapist or coach for you. Whether you want to work on your mindset, your relationships, your career, or all of the above, our team of warm, experienced experts can help you start moving forward with confidence and clarity.
I’d also love to connect with you beyond the podcast! Subscribe to my channel on YouTube for weekly videos packed with insights on love, happiness, and success—and follow me on Instagram for expert advice, bite-size interviews, and daily encouragement. We’re building a community of growth-minded, big-hearted humans, and you belong with us.
Thanks for being here with me today. Sending you so much love—and I’ll see you in the next one!
Xoxo
P.S. If you know someone who could use a positivity boost today, send this episode over to them. Let’s help each other grow. 🌱
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Is your focus on all the things that are wrong, drowning out your potential for happiness? |
| 0:12.0 | If it's frustration, well, that's about control. If it's sadness, that's about loss. |
| 0:18.0 | If it's disappointment, that's about a gap between expectations and outcomes. |
| 0:23.5 | Those all require different responses. |
| 0:26.4 | Today on love, happiness, and success, we are diving into the science of positive psychology |
| 0:31.4 | with Dr. Nick Holton of the Anti-Fragile Academy. |
| 0:35.6 | He has helped many people transform their mindset from pessimism |
| 0:42.7 | to authentic and productive optimism. Practicing gratitude, it is starting to execute |
| 0:49.9 | neuroplasticity, right, rewiring the brain to get better at seeing good things. |
| 0:56.5 | Over the course of our conversation today, you'll discover why trying to, air quote, |
| 1:02.3 | just be positive, often backfires, how embracing difficult emotions actually leads to greater |
| 1:10.1 | happiness. |
| 1:11.2 | And some of the surprising research showing that positivity is a skill you can develop, not a |
| 1:18.7 | personality trait you're born with. |
| 1:20.9 | Dr. Nick, welcome, and I'm so glad we're having this incredibly important conversation. |
| 1:36.2 | Thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here and looking forward to it as well. |
| 1:39.3 | Just to set this up a little bit, can you tell our listeners just a little bit about yourself and where you |
| 1:47.8 | are coming from? Because I think everybody likes the idea of having more positivity, more joy, |
| 1:55.4 | more strength, more resilience in their life. But it can feel really challenging to cultivate these things in a way that feels |
| 2:02.8 | trustworthy, authentic. The somewhat abbreviated version is I knew early on. I wanted to coach and |
| 2:11.6 | teach. Basically, I knew early on. I liked the feeling of helping people level up. So I went into education, thinking that |
| 2:18.9 | was a place in a system and a context in which I get to do that frequently. One would assume. |
... |
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