As we enter the new year, I've been reflecting upon which dating royalty will return to the Love Island villa.

Lovers from across the land will be hoping they get the call to be a Love Island All-Star

and share values of kindness, compassion and snogging.

I urge them to love thy neighbour on the next sun lounger

and hope that come January 13th on ITB2 and ITBX,

love will reign supreme.

Did you hear about the ninja dog competing at Westminster?

She won best in no show.

Oh! Oh! Mr. She won best in no show.

If you just read the bio to Dr. Steve, host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103,

and made popular by two really comedy shows,

Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez,

you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown.

Your show was better when you had medical questions.

Hey!

I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus.

I've got Tobolivir stripping from my nose.

I've got the leprosy of the heartbound, exacerbating my imbetable woes.

I want to take my brain now,

blast with the wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic and a pulsating shave.

I want to magic pills.

All my ailments, the health equivalent of Citizen Kane.

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