#442 When Therapy For Breakups Backfires (And What To Do Instead)
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
4.6 • 849 Ratings
🗓️ 24 February 2025
⏱️ 41 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Ever feel like therapy is supposed to help you move on after a breakup… but instead, you’re just rehashing your pain over and over again? The truth is that most therapists are not actually trained in breakup recovery—which means traditional therapy for breakups might be keeping you stuck instead of helping you move forward.
In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on why therapy for breakups doesn’t always work, and what actually does. If you’re tired of feeling like you’re trapped in an endless loop of overthinking, heartbreak, and emotional pain—definitely give this a listen. I break down:
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The missing pieces in traditional therapy for breakups
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The 8 essential stages of breakup recovery (skip one and you stay stuck!)
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Why your brain reacts to breakups like a drug withdrawal (and how to cut the cords)
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The biggest myths about healing after a breakup that keep you spinning in circles
Timestamps:
00:00 - The Problem With Therapy For Breakups (Nobody Talks About This!)
00:51 - Why Therapists Aren’t Trained in Heartbreak Recovery
02:47 - My Journey: From Therapist to Breakup Specialist
15:49 - How Your Biological Attachment System Keeps You Stuck
24:10 - The Real Path to Moving On (hint: it’s NOT what you think!)
26:25 - The Eight Stages of Heartbreak Recovery (Which one are you stuck in?)
34:23 - For You: Heartbreak Recovery Resources
I know how hard this is. If you’ve been feeling stuck, like no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to move on—please know that it’s not your fault. Healing from heartbreak is a process, and if you don’t have the right map, it’s so easy to stay lost in the pain.
That’s exactly why I created the Breakup Recovery Quiz—to help you get clarity on where you are in your healing journey and what might be holding you back from truly letting go. It’s completely free, and I made it just for you, so you can finally start moving forward.
And if today’s conversation resonated with you, I really encourage you to check out my other podcast episodes and follow me on Instagram and Youtube. Every week, I share my years of expertise and interviews with experts so you can achieve the love, happiness, and success you deserve!
Here’s to your healing and growth. 🌱
Xoxo
P.S. If you know someone who could use a little bit of support today as they navigate their breakup, share this episode with them. It could be exactly what they needed to hear today. ❤️
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | If you're going through a bad breakup or divorce, standard wisdom is you should go talk to someone. |
| 0:10.4 | A therapist can help you through this. |
| 0:12.9 | And while that advice isn't wrong per se, what most people have no idea about is that therapists are not trained to help people |
| 0:24.4 | through breakups and divorces per se. |
| 0:26.9 | We are trained on how to diagnose and treat mental health disorders, and that is not the same |
| 0:33.2 | thing. |
| 0:34.0 | So what this means is that many people earnestly investing in standard issue talk therapy |
| 0:40.3 | for support during this terrible time can actually find themselves getting stuck or even |
| 0:47.4 | moving backwards, ironically, through the very air quote treatment that they are hoping will help them move forward. |
| 0:55.9 | On today's show, we are unpacking this, and I'm going to help you understand what's going on |
| 1:01.8 | and how to do a hard reset in your personal growth work that will help you start moving forward again. |
| 1:07.9 | Life is, it's not what you think it's for. moving forward again. The chances all the left are like me hiding their tricks of mostly used to be the greatest |
| 1:35.2 | artsy. |
| 1:37.3 | Our mood music today comes from my new favorite person actually. |
| 1:42.4 | Her name is Jessica Pratt. |
| 1:44.7 | This song is Life Is, and I chose it for us because it's streamy, it's gorgeous, but it's |
| 1:50.3 | also kind of dark in a way. |
| 1:52.8 | When I listen to it, I hear the singer's songwriter talking so poignantly about the experience |
| 1:58.8 | of feeling stuck in something and kind of making peace with that, |
| 2:04.6 | which, you know, is her artistic right. |
| 2:06.7 | But here on today's show, we are talking about how to cut yourself loose from whatever is |
| 2:13.2 | keeping you stuck so that you start getting forward momentum again. |
... |
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