#440 Why Your Ex Still Haunts You (And How to Let Go For Good)
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
4.6 • 849 Ratings
🗓️ 10 February 2025
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Ever feel like your ex is still haunting you? You’re living your best life, maybe even in a happy, healthy relationship—so WHY do they keep popping up in your head, completely uninvited? If you've ever caught yourself late-night stalking their Instagram (oops), wondering what if?, or feeling like you just can’t shake the past, don’t worry. There are steps you can take to move forward.
In this episode of Love, Happiness & Success, I dive deep into why you still think about your ex—even when you don’t want to. We’ll talk about the science of attachment, why your brain keeps looping back, and—most importantly—how to finally break free.
Timestamps:
00:00 - Why Does This Keep Happening?!
01:40 - The Weird Ways Your Ex Still Sneaks Into Your Mind
02:37 - The REAL Reason You Can’t Let Go
06:02 - The 8 Stages of Heartbreak Recovery—Which One Are You Stuck In?
16:05 - The Science of Heartbreak: Your Brain on Love (and Withdrawal!)
21:34 - Unfinished Business: What You Need for REAL Closure
29:35 - How to Finally Move On—For GOOD
34:39 - Next Steps & How I Can Help You
I know how hard it can be to feel stuck in the past when all you really want is to move forward and feel at peace. If today’s conversation resonated with you, I have some resources that can help.
First, if you’re wondering why this is happening to you and what you can do about it, I invite you to take my Heartbreak Recovery Quiz. It’s a free tool designed to help you understand where you are in the healing process and what specific steps you can take next to finally be free of the past. Healing is possible, and you will get through it.
And if you’d like to keep this conversation going, I’d love to hear from you! Come join my live stream this Thursday at 12 PM MT on YouTube or Instagram. We’ll be talking more about why you still think about your ex—and I’ll be answering your questions live. Whether you need advice, reassurance, or just a supportive space, come chat with me.
Sending you warmth and support, always.
Xoxo
P.S. Know someone who could use this advice? Share this video with them—it might be exactly what they need to hear today. ❤️
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Jackie left on a cold dark night telling me he'd be home. |
| 0:07.0 | Sail the seas for a hundred years leaving me all alone. |
| 0:15.0 | Life and death for 20 years I've been washing the sun with my ghostly tips, |
| 0:26.8 | searching the shows by my Jackie Oh. |
| 0:34.4 | Friends, we're listening to the song Jackie by the late great Chenate O'Connor. |
| 0:40.7 | And I chose this for us today because I think it really captures this experience that many of us know all too well. |
| 0:48.5 | That feeling of being haunted by somebody who's no longer in your life. And it can show up in all kinds of interesting |
| 0:58.3 | ways. Like you're driving home from work and their old favorite song comes on to your |
| 1:05.2 | playlist rotation or you could even be lying in bed next to this wonderful partner. |
| 1:12.0 | You know, the one who is actually fantastic and actually shows up for you in a way that |
| 1:16.2 | that ex never did, but still find yourself wondering what they're doing, who they're laying next to. |
| 1:23.7 | I've been waiting all this time for my man to come, take his hand in mind and lead me away |
| 1:34.3 | to once in shorts. |
| 1:38.3 | You could be scrolling through the Instagram late at night telling yourself that you're not looking for their profile or their posts, but you kind of are. |
| 1:48.5 | And the worst part is that this could be happening years, even decades after the relationship ended. |
| 1:57.5 | And this is how it goes for us. |
| 1:59.7 | I mean, you can have an objectively beautiful life with all the |
| 2:03.5 | things, a loving partner, amazing career, but still they are there living rent-free in your head, |
| 2:11.5 | showing up in your dreams, showing up in your fantasies, and it can be really confusing. |
| 2:17.2 | It can make you question things, right? |
| 2:19.9 | Or feel not quite secure in the life you have now. |
| 2:25.5 | And I wanted to talk about this on today's podcast because I frequently hear from people who are struggling with this. And it is really bothering them because they feel so split. |
... |
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