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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#44 - Memorial Daze, Or Maybe Texas Should Secede

Lewis Black's Rantcast

Lewis Black

Stand-up, Leisure, Comedy

4.7843 Ratings

🗓️ 2 June 2021

⏱️ 79 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

While there is an effort afoot to add our nation’s Capital as a new state, it may be time to let certain other states to secede. The Lone Star state is high on the list to go their own merry way. There are myriad reasons for this, but it starts with the Republican-controlled legislature, who took it upon themselves to honor the sacrifices memorialized on Memorial Day by passing extremely restrictive voting rights laws (enactment TBD). As if infringing the rights of voters wasn’t enough, they also passed an extremely restrictive reproductive rights law, basically telling half the population that they do not have autonomy over their bodies. Also Ted Cruz. The machinations by Texas lawmakers belie a pervasive attitude among GOP politicians that their main purpose is to win elections, by any means necessary, not to actually govern. They are dinosaurs heading to their own oblivion, trying to hurt as many people as possible on the way out. What is needed instead are leaders who have vision and who understand that the point of representative government is to help the people you are representing, not just rich people or the people who donated to your campaign. It’s the decent thing to do. Also, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has banned North Korean men from wearing skinny jeans because they are decadent (he’s not wrong), and in this week’s edition of alternate reality news, anti-vaxxers are embracing social distancing to protect themselves from the vaccinated. While your host does not see himself as a self-help guru, he does know that writing a rant will make you feel better. Your fellow citizens of Rantcast-land produced many excellent submissions this week (and they definitely feel much better), including a few on the benefits and pitfalls of technology, and ones about online dating (with some tips for the gentlemen in the audience), trash pandas, so-called spill-proof gasoline cans, and clothes hangers. To keep things light, we also have rants about the Israel/Palestine conflict, gun rights and Ted Cruz, the Anthropocene, and the Insurrection. Plus, this inscrutable question: why are blue bears used to advertise toilet paper? Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now! https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE New episodes arrive every Wednesday. SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS www.lewisblack.com/live SUBSCRIBE TO THE RANTCAST www.lewisblacksrantcast.com FOLLOW LEWIS www.lewisblack.com www.youtube.com/officiallewisblack www.instagram.com/thelewisblack www.facebook.com/thelewisblack www.twitter.com/thelewisblack www.tiktok.com/@thelewisblack For advertising opportunities/contact email: rantcast@thesyn.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

And the rubber chicken says,

0:22.1

I'm moving to Texas, where they'll let anyone carry a gun without a permit or a background

0:30.6

check, even me, and I'm a rubber chicken.

0:33.9

Well, you've got to be 21, my friend, Mr. Rubber Chicken.

0:39.2

Oh, you're timeless.

0:41.0

Oh, well, maybe they'll let you do that.

0:43.4

Okay, well, you'll have to check on that and let me know where you'll be living,

0:46.8

and I'll come visit you down there in that lone star state.

0:50.2

But right now we don't have time, it is certainly time for rantcast number 44 entitled

0:57.6

Memorial Days, D-A-Z-E, or maybe Texas should secede. Yes, sir, it could be that time.

1:06.9

It could be that time for Texas to just kind of say, hey, goodbye.

1:12.0

We're leaving the union.

1:13.6

And you know what?

1:14.7

As far as I'm going to say, go ahead after what you've been doing over the last few weeks.

1:19.5

And it's unbelievable.

1:21.3

I mean, for you guys to come up your solution to what you have watched?

1:28.3

I think there have been 16 mass shootings in this month, I think, close.

1:36.6

16, and your idea of a solution is to just kind of anybody over the age of 21, you know, give them a, you know, no need for a background

1:44.7

check, no need for a permit? Seriously, that's your concept? You think that's going to work?

1:51.4

You think all the good guys have guns. That's what, that, it hasn't worked yet, okay?

1:56.7

It's not worked anywhere. I can list all the places it hasn't worked, and all the places

2:02.2

it won't work next week, and the week after that, and the week after that, and it didn't

...

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