44 Christina: Dear Santa, I Want A Headbanger

The Mortified Podcast

Mortified Media and Radiotopia

Personal Journals, Society & Culture

4.6 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 21 December 2015

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In honor of the holiday season, Mortified presents the story of a sheltered middle-schooler who writes to Santa Claus for a boyfriend. The Mortified Podcast is a proud member of Radiotopia from PRX. Hear more at getmortified.com/podcast.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Radio Tepia.
0:04.0	From PRX.
0:10.5	February 14, 1998.
0:12.5	Sixth grade.
0:13.5	Dear diary.
0:14.5	Dear Jesus.
0:15.5	Dear sweet ass-wad.
0:17.0	Adults.
0:18.0	Sharing the embarrassing things.
0:19.5	They created us kids.
0:20.5	So I wrote poems about masturbation.
0:22.0	Before an audience.
0:23.0	Of total strangers.
0:24.0	I feel like an idiot.
0:25.5	I'm the only normal one in my entire family.
0:28.0	Mom, you can't read this.
0:30.0	These are the stories hidden inside.
0:32.0	The pages of our past.
0:37.0	You're listening to the mortified podcast.
0:39.0	I'm Sarah, a mortified producer in Boston.
0:41.0	And I'll be your guest host for this special holiday episode.
0:44.0	Today we'll relive that notably awkward transition
	...

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