Regular regular, regular features, a regular regular regular features. A regular regular features are show. Hello and welcome to the regular features podcast, the podcast that is the same every week, which is to say it is delivered very fast at the start. I am joined by, oh no, I've stopped and hesitated. Now I've got to carry on much faster. I've got to get faster every time I stop. I've got to go to

Steve. Steve, introduce herself on your feature, please. Hello, my name is Steve Hogarty, and this week,

I will be bringing you a choose your own adventure based on the recent Perseverance Rover Martian

mission, what just literally an hour ago did a landing on Mars. That's how up-to-date and

relevant my features are. What I didn't make clear while I was speaking is that no one else has to

speak as fast as me. Now, log home fast can you go? I, my ears, the airbags in my ears went off when Steve started talking so slowly.

The sheer breaking.

Yeah, logs on his wheelie chair just flew back into the wall behind him.

Hey, it's nothing compared to the G-Forces experienced by the Perseverance rover as it hit the Martian atmosphere at 12,000 miles per hour. Thank you very much. My God, and that's a fact that you didn't research. You just knew that. My feature is about my favourite Yakuza mission. I've been playing Yakuza, and I think that's how you pronounce it. That's how they say it in the game. I've not been saying that for my whole life. And I wonder how many people I've offended by pronouncing it, Yakuza. I don't know. And my feature, now that I'm allowed to slow down, because technically that's my part of the intro done, is me trying to extort money from a celebrity and loved one. Three good features, I think, boys.

I think you've got to treat ahead of you,

so keep those eyes open and... Yeah, we've already recorded it,

so I'm saying, with certainty,

this one's a good one.

Well worth listening to.

Go!

Hi, I'm Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap.

And Ziggy says, you've got to listen to regular features. And there's a 49% chance of that.

Guys, yeah? The bloody Perseverance Rovers just landed. It's just touched down on the surface

of the planet Mars. Have you seen this? Yeah. So exciting. I saw it's seven-month long mission. And it's got that little

port-hole grey picture, like it's on a ship and it's just arrived on Mars. Because the first

picture was quite good, but then the second picture was really boring, and they attached it

with a comment that said, it's just dusty. It's just a dusty

...