Rivers of the planet are flowing to the sea

filled with natural resources including you and me

Let's venture through the forest, walking hand and hand

When we reach the gathering we'll listen to the band

Some things are confusing to the tiny brain of man

But one thing we all know for sure is this is a sailing slide

And gas will make it grow, gas will make it grow

gas will make it grow, break it in one

Namaste folks, this is Peter Galvix, the CEO and owner of BP

That stands for British Petroleum

And you might be surprised to hear that wheat oil executives actually love nature

And at night we cry, cry a lot

To make sure you like us again, we've decided to put on the biggest musical festival your world has ever known

Right here in Glacier National Forest

Well it used to be a national forest but thanks to a loophole

We bought it last week and now it's a private forest

That we would like to invite you to visit with your friends and family

And here's the best news of all

You don't have to pay for anything

We'll fly you out and every guest will receive their own

Metallica-inspired altering vehicle to drive around the national forest

All we ask is that you allow us to chemically sterilize you at the gates

...