433: Why Most Self-Help Advice is Keeping You Stuck
School of Self-Image
Tonya Leigh
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 19 March 2025
⏱️ 28 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Summary
How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Self-Help
Personal development is often viewed as a daunting task, laden with pressure to achieve specific milestones or conform to societal expectations. However, as discussed in the podcast episode, it should be approached as an invitation—a joyful endeavor that encourages you to discover and express the most vibrant version of yourself.
Tonya Leigh explores the paradox of self-help: how even with the right resources and strategies, individuals can still feel stuck. She emphasizes that the way self-help is approached can significantly impact one's progress. Tonya shares insights from her recent quarterly retreat with her team, focusing on the concept of essentialism—doing less but with greater impact. She encourages listeners to examine their current practices, identifying what adds value and what may be holding them back.
Join Tonya as she dives deeper into the pitfalls of self-help and offers actionable guidance to help you move forward on your personal development journey.
Talking Points:
00:09 - Introduction: Feeling Stuck in Self-Help
01:52 - Why Self-Help Might Be Keeping You Stuck
02:44 - The Pressure to Go Bigger in Personal Development
05:03 - Shifting from Extraordinary to Signature Goals
08:05 - Obsessing Over Every Thought
11:07 - Constant Consumption Mode
15:02 - Taking Action to Reinforce Self-Image
17:10 - Belief That You Need to Be Fixed
20:03 - Personal Growth as an Invitation, Not an Obligation
21:51 - The Importance of Environment in Personal Development
25:32 - You Are Not Broken, You Are Whole
Quotes:
"If you're trying to expand into things that aren't for you, that really don't align with your values, that don't really light you up, it can feel very, very empty."
 "When your growth is aligned with your truth, it stops feeling like pressure and starts feeling like a privilege."
"If you're just consuming and not putting what you learn into practice, all you have is a lot of unrealized knowledge."
"When you let go of the idea that you're broken, everything will change."
 "Shouldn't personal growth be inspiring, not exhausting?"
"Your surroundings can either reinforce a self-image that you desire or keep you stuck in an old identity."
"News alert, you're not broken."
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Have you ever felt like you're doing all the right things? You are reading the books, |
| 0:05.0 | taking the courses, applying the strategies, and yet somehow you're still stuck. Well, |
| 0:11.1 | you're not alone. And the reason might not be what you think. Today, we are talking about |
| 0:16.4 | how self-help when approach the wrong way can actually hold you back and what to do instead. So let's dive in. |
| 0:25.9 | Welcome to the School of Self-image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, |
| 0:32.3 | Master Life Coach, Tanya Lee. Hello, hello, beautiful friends. How are you doing? How are you feeling? I hope your |
| 0:41.7 | answer to that question is amazing. I just said goodbye to my team. They came in for our one-day |
| 0:49.9 | quarterly retreat, and it's always good getting together in person. I mean, I'm so grateful for |
| 0:55.4 | technology and the fact that we can live all across the world and work together, but there is |
| 1:00.7 | nothing like in-person meetings. The energy is different and it's just a great way to reset |
| 1:07.0 | and make plans, which we are doing. I am really looking at my business and my whole life |
| 1:14.1 | through the lens of essentialism this year, doing less but better, really focusing and looking at |
| 1:22.1 | where we can have the biggest impact and really thinking about what are we currently doing that doesn't need to be done. |
| 1:31.3 | It's not adding a lot of value. |
| 1:32.7 | And where can we look to add more value that will help our members move along and create |
| 1:40.0 | results faster? |
| 1:40.9 | So it's always good to get together and have those kinds of discussions. |
| 1:44.4 | And I feel like that's a great segue into what I want to talk about the day. And that is |
| 1:48.9 | why self-help might be keeping you stuck. And the reason why I am recording this episode is because |
| 1:56.5 | I had a woman reach out to me recently on Instagram. |
| 2:02.0 | She left me a DM. |
| 2:08.8 | And she had joined the membership about four months prior to her reaching out to me. |
... |
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