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Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

432: Are You Self-Sabotaging Your Growth? Dr. Curt Thompson Unpacks Anticipated Abandonment, Why You're Startled Lately, Rugged Flexibility, and How Attention Shapes Identity

Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

Christopher Cook

Christianity, Mental Health, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 528 Ratings

🗓️ 19 March 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if the way you pay attention is shaping who you're becoming? What if your deepest fears of being abandoned—whether real or anticipated—are keeping you locked in patterns of anxiety, shame, and self-protection? Today, Dr. Curt Thompson joins us to unpack the profound ways our minds and relationships shape our formation. We're talking about anticipated abandonment, the neuroscience of attachment, and how to cultivate rugged flexibility in the face of life's uncertainties. Dr. Thompson, a psychiatrist and expert in interpersonal neurobiology, reveals how the way we focus our attention—consciously or not—rewires our brains and forms our identity. If you've ever felt stuck in relational wounds or struggled to trust God and others, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Why anticipated abandonment keeps us stuck in fear and self-protection
  • The neuroscience behind shame and relational wounds
  • How rugged flexibility helps us navigate pain without losing hope
  • Why we become what we pay attention to—and how to shift our focus for transformation

This is a deep, thought-provoking conversation that will challenge how you see yourself, your relationships, and your faith.

Episode Links

• • Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The Art of Leadership Network.

0:03.2

But this is how evil works.

0:05.1

Evil is the second smartest force on the planet, far smarter than any humans.

0:10.5

And it will do what it can to separate us.

0:14.2

And in our woundedness, look, in order for me to develop normally without my wounds,

0:18.1

I need co-regulation.

0:25.2

Helping you design your roadmap to wholeness from the inside out this is win today and now here's your host Christopher

0:33.3

Cook hey friends welcome to the podcast what if the way you pay attention is shaping who you're

0:40.1

becoming? What if your deepest fears of being abandoned, whether real or imagined, are keeping

0:46.5

you locked in shame, self-protection, and isolation? Well, today, my friend, a well-respected

0:52.6

psychiatrist, Dr. Kurt Thompson, joins us to unpack anticipated abandonment, the neuroscience of attachment, and how we develop rugged flexibility in the face of uncertainty.

1:04.2

He's going to reveal how the way we focus our attention, whether on fear or on truth, literally rewires our brains and forms our identity.

1:13.4

So if you've ever struggled with trust, attachment wounds, or feeling unseen, you guys,

1:17.6

this is the conversation for you. Stick around. This one's going to challenge and stretch

1:22.4

you. My conversation with Kurt Thompson is just moments away. But first, you've tried everything.

1:28.1

Pushing through, praying harder, telling yourself just to move on.

1:30.7

But no matter how much you hustle, numb, or distract yourself, the weight of burnout, fear,

1:36.1

and past wounds still lingers, right?

1:38.7

You're exhausted from carrying the same struggles year after year, frustrated that no amount

1:43.6

of willpower or desire or intention

1:47.2

has fixed it. So maybe you've convinced yourself that you just need to be stronger, that you should

1:53.0

be over it by now. But deep down, I think you know something isn't right. The past still haunts you,

...

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