meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
We Can Do Hard Things

43. Esther Perel Answers Your Relationship Questions

We Can Do Hard Things

Glennon Doyle & Audacy

Society & Culture, Relationships, Education, Self-improvement

4.841.1K Ratings

🗓️ 11 November 2021

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

1. Why Esther often recommends letter writing if you don’t know quite how to start—or have—hard conversations. 2. What to say—and when to say it—to show up for a friend who is in a bad relationship. 3. The importance of rituals in transitioning through breakups—what we should do when it’s time to say goodbye; and what we can do if we’ve never gotten the closure we need. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 30 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into nearly 30 languages. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How’s Work? Her latest project is Where Should We Begin - A Game of Stories with Esther Perel. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, Loves. Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. I get so amazed and excited every

0:15.8

time you come to this little party that we're having. So thank you for coming. Thank you

0:22.1

for showing up at our We Can Do Hard Things party. Super excited today because we have

0:28.6

the magical, wise, incredible Esther Perl back with us. And she is answering your questions

0:35.9

today. And I don't want to take up any extra time here. So let's just jump right in.

0:41.1

Hi, Glennon and sister. My name is Melissa and I'm a mom of two. My hard thing is my husband

0:52.7

and eyes relationship does not have anything inherently wrong. We don't have any major issues

1:01.6

and we fight very infrequently. But I find myself feeling very stagnant in a relationship.

1:12.0

I recognize that he is an amazing provider. He gave me my two beautiful, amazing girls.

1:22.1

And he is steady. He's constant. He's not going anywhere. He tells me that. But there's

1:28.3

no stark. There's no pursuit. There's no adventure. There's no passion. And I used to try

1:38.8

to make that for us. But it's been kind of rejected and not received for so long that

1:49.4

now I'm finding that I'm not even trying anymore. And I feel so sad about that. My question

1:59.8

is, what do you do when you feel like you wouldn't have much of a relationship without

2:10.2

your kid being there? The last question kind of takes it in a different

2:15.8

direction. Which one do I want to answer? I would want to know, what did you try before?

2:28.3

Did you say, let's go to a club, let's go dance, let's go take a walk together. Did you

2:34.3

hold his hand and he took the hand out? Did you sit next to him on the couch and he basically

2:40.6

doesn't notice if you're there or not? Did you try to put your hand in his hair and his

2:47.1

hand never comes on you? What did you try for which you say the response was such that

2:53.6

I stopped trying and I basically closed in and basically shut myself down. So there's

3:03.6

two ways to change it. You either restart certain things like that. And you see if there

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Glennon Doyle & Audacy, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Glennon Doyle & Audacy and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.