423: Batman Returns

Guide to the Unknown

Kristen Anderson and William Rogers

Comedy, Tv & Film, Arts

4.7 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 25 December 2025

⏱️ 96 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's a Christmas miracle! Guide to the Unknown is here a day early! Batman Returns IS an Xmas classic, after all. Snow! Murder! A penguin man oozing black goo! This is a CRAZY movie. [⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube Version⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] [⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sources & links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] Pick up Will's new audio drama ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WAR OF THE UNDEAD⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Audible⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TellEmSteveDave.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and watch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠THE TROUBLE WITH TESSA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Screambox⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Get this episode AD-FREE on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, along with our exclusive podcast The Netherworld Dispatch! Listen on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bluesky⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. For more, cruise through our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sources: We watched this movie.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This is just always what I've thought.
0:02.0	Well, that's because you're a sicko.
0:04.6	You're sick freak.
0:05.3	That's why you can't remember Christmas because you're on the naughty list perpetually.
0:13.0	Hello, welcome to Guides the Unknown.
0:15.0	I'm Kristen.
0:15.8	And I'm her little brother, William.
0:17.6	And we're bringing just a little bit of Timber tober into December by covering Batman
0:22.8	Returns, a Christmas movie to be sure.
0:25.9	Of course it's a Christmas movie.
0:27.7	The same way,
0:28.4	Yeah, the same way Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
0:31.0	I would agree.
0:31.6	Do you think that this is the, diehard is a Christmas movie?
0:34.4	Yes, yes, I do.
0:35.7	I, um, yeah, I totally agree. Um, Batman Returns is a Christmas movie. Yes, yes, I do. Uh-huh. Yeah, I totally agree.
0:38.2	Batman Returns is a Christmas movie. Yeah. It is set around Christmas. It's so Christmas.
0:43.5	It is very Christmassy. It's very gothy Christmasy. Yeah. Yeah. So we had done Timbertober for October this year watching a bunch of Tim Burton movies. We watched Batman and that. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure like almost right away, because we were like, there's so many Christmas Tim Burton. There's so many. Yes. Christmasy Tim Burton movies. It's crazy. Yeah. But I think pretty much right away, you and I were both like, I want more Batman. Totally. And I want it soon. I want it now. This is our, uh, ostensibly our Christmas episode.
1:11.5	Yes, yes.
1:27.7	Um, now, William, what is your history with Batman returns? When was the last time you had seen it before this? Years. Yeah, same. Years. I guess I had thought that I had seen it more recently, but I like, it had been a long time I realized. Yeah. It was not fresh in the mind. No, no, no, no, not at all.
1:27.7	Oh, this is a crazy, no, not at all.
1:32.1	Oh, this is a crazy, this is a crazy person movie.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Kristen Anderson and William Rogers, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Kristen Anderson and William Rogers and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.