I just got right to the end and I was so terrified, you know, and of course I was clueless.

I had no self-awareness. All I was

feeling the emotion. I was just so terrified of actually finishing it

and then putting it out there for people to judge even though nobody would give

it shit or even know that I'd grit in anything, but in my mind it was a big deal.

And so I just like what they say in psychology, when you act out, you do something.

I'm not going to say what it was but it was enough that blew up my

marriage and blew up you know the rest of what regular life I had at that point.

It forced me to ask myself, why am I doing this? You know, am I just crazy? Why do I keep saving money taking two years, a book nobody wants it nobody buys it

it's not can't get it published everybody thinks I'm an idiot my family is in

utter distress over poor Steve he's going down the tubes, you know.

And so I had to ask myself,

over it really, why am I doing it?

It's not for the money, because I'm not making any money.

It's not for the recognition because I'm not getting any recognition. And I didn't see anything on the horizon either.

It wasn't like I thought, oh, I'm just this close and I'll be over the hump.

The answer that I came up with is I just can't do anything else you know this is the only thing that gives me hope.

Hey there it's Light Watkins and we're back with another episode of at the end of the

tunnel and I'm truly honored to have on the podcast this week one of my biggest

creative influences author Stephen Pressfield.

I first heard about Stephen Pressfield through his book, The War of Art, several years ago,

when I was struggling to write my first book, The Inner Gym, and then I ran into another creative at Whole Foods one afternoon,

...