417. The pressure to be extraordinary in our 20s
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 14 May 2026
⏱️ 43 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In our 20s, we can feel intense pressure to be extraordinary, to stand head and shoulders above the pack, to thrive across all aspects of our life. But when we put pressure on ourselves to be extraordinary, we can fall victim to social comparison, lose sight of what we really want, and experience long-term feelings of inadequacy. In this episode, unpack where the pressure to be extraordinary comes from, and reframe our thinking towards a healthier, more balanced approach.
We explore:
• How social media creates an ‘artificial average’, making us feel inadequate
• Why being gifted as a child can lead to burnout as an adult
• The myth of linear success, and why taking a scenic route is just as worthy
• Why learned helplessness can make us stop trying at all
• How we can expand our definition of being ‘extraordinary’ into many areas
• Why our relationships, not our work achievements, are the biggest predictor of long-term happiness
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For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com
Our favourite sources:
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/nov/05/under-pressure-why-athletes-choke
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI
https://paulasanderson.com/2020/12/04/30-under-30-and-the-pressure-to-be-extraordinary/
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.5 | Guaranteed Human. |
| 0:08.6 | Hello everybody. |
| 0:10.0 | I'm Jemma Spike and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk |
| 0:15.4 | through the biggest changes, moments and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. |
| 0:26.2 | Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. It is so great to have you |
| 0:32.1 | here back for another episode. Today we are talking about a very insidious part of our 20s. The pressure to be extraordinary. |
| 0:43.3 | The pressure to be the best, to be the Wondekind, to be the star, this idea that if we don't make it |
| 0:54.0 | big now in our 20s, we will never have what it takes. |
| 1:00.1 | This feeling follows us around everywhere. |
| 1:03.0 | And I personally think it destroys a lot of our organic love for so many things. |
| 1:10.5 | And it destroys our ability to be truly curious |
| 1:13.8 | and truly passionate during a time in our lives when that is like our number one asset. |
| 1:20.6 | I cannot be the only one who feels this implicit sense that we are all in this race and we are all losing at the exact same time. |
| 1:30.3 | We're all in the race. |
| 1:31.4 | None of us are winning. |
| 1:33.6 | There are like 10 or 12 people in this world, 10 or 12 amazing 20 somethings who are |
| 1:39.2 | Olympians, who are business owners, who are authors, who are experts, they're winning, |
| 1:45.1 | but we are not. |
| 1:50.3 | And the question always seems to be like, why can't that be me? |
| 1:52.4 | Why didn't I make it? |
| 1:55.9 | Why don't I have the motivation to be this extraordinary person? |
... |
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