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Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

#413 My 2020 Year In Review 5/7 - The Skanks Election - Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank Legion of Skanks Luis Gomez Big Jay Oakerson Dave Smith Shane Gillis Zac Amico Joe Derosa No More Weeks

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Ari Shaffir

Diaz, Shrooms, Comic, Ari, Duncan, Shafir, Segura, Squad, Chappell, Store, Tomsegura, Rogan, Shaffir, Mushroom, Arishaffir, Sceptic, Skankfest, Freak, Skeptictank, Trussell, Los, Bryant, Cellar, Shroomfest, Joe, Tom, Burr, Bertkreischer, Tank, Comedy, Septic, Freakparty, Arithegreat, Joey, Kreischer, Billburr, Punchdrunk, Skeptic, Legionofskanks, Comedian, Thisisnothappening, Joerogan, Party, Allthingscomedy, Death, Podcast, Deathsquad, Comedy Interviews, Earwolf, Topic, Standup, Kobe

4.66.7K Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2021

⏱️ 13 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I almost forgot about the election that saved comedy. Not the presidential election. No, that doesn't really matter. We're still gonna be at war with 7 countries and watch the rich get richer and the poor get poorer regardless of who won that. I'm talking about the Legion of Skanks election. I decided to run for the president of someone else's podcast.
I'm Ari Shaffir, and I stand for Mayhem.
Every week, I would offer a different sacrifice at the alter of comedy. And in return, the gods of laughs rewarded me with the highest office in the land. During this recap, I didn't even remember some of the best stuff that happened. There was way more about this than I remembered while avoiding sheep poop. I forgot making Derosa wait downstairs in the sweaty basement just to get betrayed like a chump when he came upstairs. I forgot getting the best celebrity endorsements and then getting Big Jay's family and Luis's son to endorse me. Dave Smith's jerk of a daughter refused to betray him. I forgot the lie detector. I forgot hosting the debates and my announcement that I'd be running. I think I even forgot that I wore a different suit all 8 times I came on. If you want to watch the recap of the Skanks election, there's a 2 hour video about it here that I'll link to on the YouTube video of this podcast. I'll put a box link to it at the end of the video.
Thank you to our sponsor: Dan Soder. Because of the generous contributions made by the Soder Superpac, I, Ari Shaffir, was able to win the most important election of our lifetime. The Soder Superpac; sponsoring winners in NY and beating up losers in PA since before Jesus.
Please sign up for my Patreon. I'm about 3 days away from having exclusive Tee shirts and other merch up there that will only be available to patrons and nobody else. That's in addition to bonus solo podcasts, occasional riffs with other comics on the topics the patrons submit, and early releases of podcasts.
I'm Ari Shaffir. And I stand, for mayhem.
The Music
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen - No One Tells The President What To Do

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Cool, they're all playing equivoli.

0:06.2

Guys, I've got to tell you about the best part.

0:08.9

The best part of the summer.

0:12.7

The most creative part, it's a skank selection.

0:16.3

So when I was still in quarantine, they told me,

0:19.2

oh no, they told me the big J and Lewis Gomez

0:24.0

were running against each other

0:25.2

for president of the Legion of Skanks.

0:27.8

And I was like, what about Dave Smith?

0:29.8

He's just as much part of his anybody.

0:32.3

Even though he leaves as soon as the show's over

0:33.8

and now that he has a kid.

0:36.2

And, eh, what is that?

0:38.4

Ooh, dead rat, dead rat, ew.

0:43.4

And then Dave into the election,

0:50.3

right as I was getting back to New York.

0:52.5

And I decided, even though it's not my podcast, hello.

1:00.0

That was a lot of shit right by your ass, dude.

1:03.2

I'm also gonna run for president of Legion of Skanks.

1:07.4

My platform was simple.

1:09.4

I stood for Mayhem and I had so much fun.

1:13.5

This podcast saved comedy in New York.

...

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