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The Basement Yard

#413 - Don't Get Bite By This Spider

The Basement Yard

Santagato Studios

Comedy, Improv

4.913.5K Ratings

🗓️ 28 August 2023

⏱️ 71 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Basement Yard is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BASEMENTYARD today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome back to the

0:07.0

Welcome back to the basement yard. What did you just fucking say?

0:12.8

Say it again. Okay. Nope, just the words. I need to add context.

0:20.8

So no, no, no context. I didn't get any. So why does anyone else go?

0:25.2

You often the cameras will start rolling and it tests the audio. You'll say just

0:31.3

some fucking out of left field shit and you asked me if someone's ever been nut

0:36.1

fucked. Yes, so that was my question. Can you let me get to it? I would get to it if you'd let me.

0:42.0

The question was, do you think anyone has gotten, you know how like people do like titty

0:45.9

fucking, if they do it with nuts though, and they nut fuck. So they like wrap their balls,

0:51.7

they like hold their balls like hold balls like that and then they do sex to it. This is like,

0:57.9

this is like taking the Eucharist. Yeah. Thank you, father. Yeah. You don't do that.

1:03.4

You put your tongue out. Yeah, you put your tongue out and you put it on your tongue, don't you?

1:07.2

What do they put on your tongue? You do this? Yo, what a weird thing. What church? Like you just

1:13.3

at church, it's like you're supposed to just go up to this guy in robes. You don't know what's

1:19.9

underneath. Well, no, he's in robes. Yeah, he's in robes. Yeah. There is a history of like questionable

1:25.7

behavior and then they're saying, hold your hands out and your tongue out and put them right in

1:33.1

front of my face. They're not saying both those things. You do one of those. No, it's like you do

1:37.9

a little bit of both and then they're like, oh, just drink from this. You don't have to drink

1:42.9

either. So what the fuck, what is it from then? What is that stuff? You drink it and you even walk

1:47.6

up and go and he puts it on your tongue or you go the body of Christ and then he puts it in your hands.

1:52.4

You think you think a priest has ever gotten hungry and he's just been like snacking on the

1:56.3

fucking dukerist crackers? Joe Campbell did that. Did he? Damn, this is a name I haven't said in

...

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