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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

410-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.723.4K Ratings

🗓️ 23 August 2017

⏱️ 82 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you're ever attacked you should consider biting your attacker below the waist! But only after you seduce him into thinking you're into him sexually. We recommend an hour or more to really trick them! Plus, Why are some farts hot? Why do those smell more? AND are you willing to wait in line to eat somewhere good? No thanks, Jean. When you visit Singapore keep an eye out for an older, gay, how you say, Gentleman. He knows what he wants and it's a lot. Put pee in your butt because we just found out it could solve this country's problems.

Transcript

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0:00.0

What's that? Go to your mums house podcast.com. Please do your Amazon shopping through our banners. We have one for the US, one for Canada, one for the UK. Please do any of your regular Amazon shopping through our banner. It helps support the show. And of course our store, which features a number of shirts rub rub.

0:22.4

Subcane, there's mousse soup DJ dad mouth bikes, a whole bunch of shirts with awesome designs. Thank you guys for for getting them. Gene, what do you got there? I was going to ask you, who do you think has done less activity today? Bitsa, Bitsa or Fifo?

0:38.4

That's a tough call. That is a real tough call. I would say it's a bit less. You got it. She's only done four minutes of activity. Fifo's done 12th. Wow.

0:50.4

It's a lot. Triple the activity. I know. I think barking is an activity for him. So she's got that cone on her right now. We have his vocal cords removed. Is that a possibility?

1:02.4

I'm sure you can, but it's a little inhumane. Oh my God. I love him. I love him. But this whistle thing is amazing. I'm telling you now we got to get one of these on our toddler. And no. All right. Thank you guys for checking out the show. And we'll see you next week by Gene. Yeah, it is. It's a very nice jacket. Thank you. I you asked me out. Well, how much do you think a jacket like this cost, Tom? 500 bucks. Wrong. 30 dollars. It's cool.

1:31.4

It's like a cheapy H&M. I get this right. Get all my stuff cheap. That shit looks fly man. Thanks, bro. Hey, toast gels in my summer bomber look a toast. And it looks like a downtown flag here. Like little little Tokyo gear. Like I'm cool. And I know where to shop stuff. Yeah, it does. You know what?

1:49.4

I was a little afraid of real talk. What's up? Is that the prince floral? I was kind of afraid of looking like a Tommy Bahama dad. Oh, no, it does not look like I sure.

2:00.4

Because my stepdad used to wear Tommy Bahama all the time with these horrible prints. And I'm like, it's kind of like it's a little Tommy's like that. I promise. Okay. Let's do a proper show. Open. No, Sam. We'll get into everything.

2:12.4

Show me no time now. Very exciting. Very exciting stuff. Here we go. Here we go.

2:16.4

No, thank you. The whole population defense. Here is another instance when you need to give the appearance of going along with what is happening.

2:24.4

If you're being forced down to orally, couplet your attacker, your defense is simple. Quit fighting and wait for your chance. Then bite off his penis.

2:35.4

This should have been tough. Who is wrong? Don't bring anyone loving to this.

2:40.4

No, Bob and the fuck is that? Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. So loud.

2:46.4

With Tom Sendoor, Tom Sendoor. And Christina Pajit, secret agent. Welcome to your mom's house.

3:16.4

You know, I'm saying this is how I feel every time I'm forced to orally copulate. You feel like doing this to me? No, I just know that I have to surrender. I have to give in. Why?

3:40.4

Why? Why do you feel like a attacker? I'm not an attacker. I'm your spouse. You're always trying to trick me to. You're like, oh, I'm soft. I need help. And then I go down there and you're like, just kidding.

3:52.4

That's what Bobby likes to do to bite off his penis. Trish. Yeah. Bobby is all about it. Trish wouldn't do that. Trish would never bite one off. Now, away, Trish lives for goblin cocks.

4:04.4

Whoa. That's what she loves. That's Trish. Karen or Trish. They both are. They're both down. My favorite thing about both of them is they're super down.

4:16.4

Love so low self as team check. Yeah, I know. They are the best for one for that thing for love ends. I'm assuming that's what I hear. I won't give away too much about our marital love makings, but Bobby and Trish had a rendezvous.

4:32.4

Yeah, they did. And it was funny because I had a rendezvous with my triple D SL UT.

4:38.4

I came up with that one. That was funny. Yeah, that was good. But it was funny because I had a thing I was trying to unbutton right. And then you were.

4:51.4

And then. And then you said something and you're just were patient with me. And I was like, no, Bobby wouldn't be patient. So say a Bobby would say.

...

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