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The SelfWork Podcast

410 SelfWork: The Good Enough Parent

The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.81.3K Ratings

🗓️ 6 September 2024

⏱️ 24 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What's a good enough parent? There were many times when I was actively parenting our child that I thanked a psychology researcher named Winnicott. When he was writing (decades ago...), mothers were blamed for everything - even autism was caused by a "refrigerator mom." Winnicott came along and let moms off the hook a little bit, saying that their caring – as long as it was good enough – as long as she was consistent enough, that most children would be okay. Fathers were left out of the whole pathology-causing picture, by the way. Frankly, I had no idea how to measure “good enough” as a mom. Since it’s 2024, let’s include fathers in that equation. What makes a good enough parent? Is being good enough…. enough? We’ll talk about the answers to these questions today on SelfWork. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

0:07.0

At self-work we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them.

0:15.8

Whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

0:21.3

Eight years ago I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you

0:25.1

who might already be knowledgeable about mental health treatment but also to those

0:29.2

of you who might say you'd never jarken the door of a therapist.

0:33.2

And yet you are here.

0:35.1

I'll answer your questions.

0:36.5

While I invite you to take a few minutes

0:38.8

for your own self-work.

0:47.0

There's another recent term. it's called intensive parenting, where you're always involved. And then there's its opposite, what's called free-range parenting. Maybe somewhere

0:52.1

in the middle is good. And of course it also depends on the

0:56.2

personality and the character of your child. What are their strengths? What are their struggles?

1:01.0

Welcome to this week's edition of self-work.

1:06.0

There were many times when I was actively parenting our child that I thanked a psychology

1:11.0

researcher named Winnicott.

1:13.2

Back when he was writing, most theorists of the day

1:15.5

blamed mothers for every possible problem

1:18.2

a child might have.

1:19.8

There was a schizophrenic mom who's chaotic

1:22.2

and often you can't win for losing style of communication caused problems.

1:27.4

The refrigerator mom was another one whose coldness led to the child escaping into autism.

...

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