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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#41 - Cyber Ninjas, Soon To Be a Netflix Special

Lewis Black's Rantcast

Lewis Black

Comedy, Leisure, Stand-up

4.8 • 803 Ratings

🗓️ 12 May 2021

⏱️ 95 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week’s Rantcast comes from an undisclosed location in the Tar Heel State, aka North Carolina, where Lewis has traveled to hit the links and visit supermarkets. Did you know that the 12th state’s motto is esse quam videri, Latin for “to be, rather than to seem”? It’s advice that many of our lawmakers have never learned, as from coast to coast “seem” has taken on a higher value than “be”. There’s no need for a resume anymore, BS alone can see you through to the highest reaches of government. In Arizona, a hitherto unheard-of cabal called the Cyber Ninjas was hired to help count the votes that have already been successfully counted and verified. In Florida, Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a bill that eviscerates the state’s voting rights and only invited Fox News to the ceremonial signing. This was appropriately evocative of coverage by the Soviet-era TASS News Agency. And in the hallowed halls of Congress, Liz “waterboarding isn’t torture” Cheney (R-WY) may be replaced in the house leadership by noted acolyte of the former leader Elise Stefanik (R-NY), because she dared to question the Big Lie. Back in the real world, Lewis appeared on the PBS show “Finding Your Roots”, where host Henry Louis Gates, Jr. revealed that he has a cousin who is also a podcast host. Must be in the genes. More importantly, Lewis celebrated Mother’s Day with his mom Jeannette who, in a moment of centenarian clarity, remarked that we shouldn’t celebrate Mother’s Day, because every day is Mother’s Day. Indeed. The rants this week take on a bit of a British whinge with submissions from the UK praising the NHS and decrying the deterioration of manners. From this side of the pond we have rants about how to make a proper cup of coffee, being whiter than white, the lack of a minority presence at Lewis’ shows, getting dental insurance, (un)equal pay, the changing definition of the American dream, and not one but two rants about dog poop. And more. Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now! https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE New episodes arrive every Wednesday SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS www.lewisblack.com/live SUBSCRIBE TO THE RANTCAST www.lewisblacksrantcast.com FOLLOW LEWIS www.lewisblack.com www.youtube.com/officiallewisblack www.instagram.com/thelewisblack www.facebook.com/thelewisblack www.twitter.com/thelewisblack www.tiktok.com/@thelewisblack For advertising opportunities/contact email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

And the rubber chicken says, I'd like to take a bite out of Governor Ron DeSantis, but I can't because I got no teeth because I'm a rubber chicken.

0:33.8

Yes, you are. Yes, you are. And I can understand your anger, but we've got no time for that right now because we've got to get on with a rant cast number 41. Lewis Black's rant cast number 41. Almost forgot my name entitled Cyber Ninjas, soon to be a Netflix special.

0:56.0

Yes, Sir E. Bob.

0:58.0

Wow, Cyber Ninjas working out of Maricopa County, a group that has never, ever, ever, ever,

1:04.0

ever, ever been involved in counting, involved in any type of elections whatsoever.

1:11.8

And of course they would be hired.

1:13.4

Why wouldn't they be hired since they have, you know, no resume to speak up?

1:17.8

Because that's what this is all about, really, this time period.

1:21.4

Is the less you have on a resume, the more we want to hire you.

1:26.0

Hence, we have Elise Stefonic possibly becoming,

1:30.1

taking over the power position of Liz Cheney. And I would now be finding myself going,

1:38.3

holy God, you can't kick out Liz Cheney. You've got a sane voice there? You've got someone who actually has,

1:46.1

excuse me, beliefs in the system that I hold dear, and that I agree with Iran, even though

1:54.2

I don't agree with practically anything, any programs, anything that she thinks politically, I don't, but at least there's a given

2:03.4

to take there.

2:04.7

And we know that there are limits to this kind of thing.

2:07.4

But for God's sake, cyber ninjas run by a man who believes in the conspiracy that the

2:14.7

election was stolen from Donald Trump. Is somebody kidding me?

2:19.5

Is anybody home?

2:21.5

They just hired the Republican legislature of Arizona, I guess, with nothing to do that

2:26.7

day, said, yeah, let's count it again, even though it had been counted already,

2:29.8

and Republicans had already said it was completely fine.

...

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