409: What Withdrawers Want

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Cloud10

Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 13 October 2023

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, George and Laurie explore the world of the sexual withdrawer. In the sexual cycle, withdrawers avoid, shut down or turn away from sexual connection. This causes the sexual pursuer to feel rejected, hopeless and abandoned and their reaction often confirms the withdrawers worst fears about sex. Anxiety does what anxiety does and a tension begins to form around this precious part of their relationship. Join us as wedeep dive into the sexual withdrawer's fears and help them discover what draws them away from connection to their sexual self. A lack of touch in early childhood, sexual trauma, shame around body image or expression of sexuality will undoubtedly cause someone to shut down their connection to sex and sensuality. This exploration allows the sexual withdrawer to safely investigate this area and express the fear around reaching for or engaging in sexual connection. A key takeaway in this episode is helping sexual withdrawers identify what they actually want. Special shoutout on this episode to our friend and colleague, Julie Mennano of @thesecurerelationship Julie's instagram content provides great nuggets of information on attachment and relationships. Give her a follow today! *We want to make the disclaimer that partners always have the right to say no in a relationship and our material is not applicable to any form of abuse in relationships. If you are concerned about abuse inyour relationship we encourage you to find a safe computer and learn more about the signs. Visit www.thehotline.org Check out our fantastic sponsor! OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex.\ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following content is not suitable for children.
0:02.6	What's going on with these sexual withdrawers?
0:06.4	That makes them not want to have sex?
0:09.6	What's up, Laurie?
0:11.1	Yeah, the weird thing about it is some of them actually repress their own desire.
0:17.5	So we're going to figure this out to help them and help their partners understand what the heck is happening.
0:22.0	Like, if you know your partner wants sex, why would you not want to feel desire?
0:26.0	That's what we're going to answer. That's our question.
0:30.7	Welcome to 4th place Sex Therapy.
0:32.8	I'm Dr. Laurie Watts and you're Sex Therapist.
0:35.2	But I'm George Valley, a couples therapist.
0:37.6	We are here to talk about sex.
0:39.7	Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body,
0:45.7	their mind, and their hearts.
0:47.7	And we have a little bit of fun doing it, right, G?
0:50.2	Listen and let's change some relationships.
0:53.6	Big question.
0:55.0	Big questions are big answers, Laurie.
0:57.4	Yes, they do. And before we get started, I just want to
1:00.2	shout out to Julie Manano on the Secure Relationship on Instagram.
1:05.7	She does a fantastic job putting very simply kind of the nuggets about secure relationship.
1:15.4	And especially in the emotional cycle.
	...

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