407. Loving yourself, will make you more attractive
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 16 April 2026
⏱️ 37 minutes
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Summary
We are bombarded with ideas about how we should look, behave, and be. But instead of trying to constantly strive for the societal ideal, we can cut through the noise another way - and that’s by cultivating self-love. The funny thing is, psychology actually shows us that the more confident and self-loving we are, the more attractive we become. It’s a win-win… if we can get there. Today, we're going to talk about how loving ourselves makes us more attractive.
We unpack:
• The power of the mind-body link and self-esteem
• Why plastic surgery might not make us happy
• The damaging physical effects of negative self-talk
• How simple behavioural changes affect how others see us
• Why cultivating self-love is the greatest gift we can give ourselves
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. |
| 0:08.6 | Hello everybody. I'm Jemma Spike and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast |
| 0:14.6 | where we talk through the biggest changes, moments and transitions of our 20s and what they |
| 0:20.8 | mean for our psychology. |
| 0:28.2 | Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. It is so great to |
| 0:33.8 | have you here back for another episode. Today we are talking about beauty. We're talking |
| 0:39.0 | about attraction, not in the way you may think. Mainly, we are talking about the theory that |
| 0:45.9 | your thoughts contribute as deeply to your appearance as objective physical features and characteristics. |
| 0:53.8 | Is that true? Do your thoughts change your attractiveness? |
| 0:57.2 | And how exactly does that happen? How does loving ourselves actually have a biological physical |
| 1:04.0 | impact? Can I begin in a slightly different way this week? I want to tell you guys about this |
| 1:09.7 | quote, my favorite quote, ever, just ever, full stop. I want to tell you guys about this quote, my favorite quote, |
| 1:12.0 | ever, just ever, full stop. I feel like I share a lot of quotes on this podcast. This one like |
| 1:17.0 | takes the cake. And I feel like it's the reason I wanted to do this episode, because I've been |
| 1:21.3 | thinking about it so often over the years. And finally, I was like, there must be some science to |
| 1:26.3 | this. It's from Royal Dal. |
| 1:29.4 | He wrote Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, BFG. This quote came from the Twits. A person who has |
| 1:34.8 | good thoughts cannot ever be ugly because those thoughts will shine out of your face like sunbeams |
| 1:41.2 | and you will always look beautiful. Since I was a kid, this quote has resonated with me. |
| 1:46.2 | I was an ugly kid. Let's be real. I was an ugly kid and as an adult, I started to realize, |
| 1:52.2 | and as a teenager I was like, okay, cards that I was dealt, if I control my thoughts, I really can |
| 1:58.3 | not just change my appearance to other people, but how I feel |
... |
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