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God Awful Movies

402: The Nibiru Movie

God Awful Movies

Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC

Comedy, Leisure, Tv & Film

4.82.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 May 2023

⏱️ 97 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, Dan and Jordan from the Knowledge Fight podcast join us to ask "what if Mars is really a mythical dragon that punched Venus in the face?", answer "but it isn't though", and then ask, "yeah, but what if it was?"

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/awful and get on your way to being your best self.

Hear more from Dan and Jordan on Knowledge Fight
If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful
Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus.
Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts
All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Elevates your summer nights

0:02.6

with all the indulgence of the new Magnum Double Star Chaser.

0:07.2

It crack in chocolate, popcorn flavor,

0:11.4

and rich caramel sauce for the night.

0:14.2

Pleasure is always on.

0:16.8

Magnum, true to pleasure.

0:23.8

Like, okay, we've looked out to even as far as 10,000

0:28.4

astronomical units away for a planet the size of Saturn

0:32.4

and there just isn't one.

0:34.0

And their response is like, well, you didn't look for a

0:36.2

smaller size planet.

0:37.4

Yes, yeah, you didn't.

0:38.2

You don't know.

0:39.0

You don't know.

0:39.4

Size one.

0:40.6

I bet your equipment doesn't even measure

0:42.5

planets half the size of Saturn.

0:44.7

You idiot.

0:47.2

So you're telling me you went up and down this beach with

0:49.2

a metal detector and found nothing.

0:50.8

Well, then the pirate's treasure is obviously

0:53.8

wood mother fucker.

...

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