#40: The Lazy Genius Navigates Family Tension

The Lazy Genius Podcast

Kendra Adachi

Arts, Education

4.8 • 5.7K Ratings

🗓️ 20 November 2017

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Spending entire days with your family over the holidays can sometimes feel a little tense. There's a lot of history and things unsaid - or very loudly and aggressively said - and those car rides home can be little venting therapy sessions where you try and get your peace back. In this episode, we talk about how to leave those family gatherings with your peace still intact and maybe even an improved relationship along the way.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey Lazy Geniuses, I am Kendra and you are listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast.
0:07.0	Here I'm going to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.
0:12.0	This is episode 40, The Lazy Genius Navigates Family Attention.
0:18.0	Aren't you so excited?
0:19.0	Isn't this everybody's favorite topic?
0:21.0	Okay, it's the holidays and those of us in America are just around the corner from Thanksgiving, aka lots of time and family.
0:29.0	Family can be tricky, even the healthiest, most loving families still have a history, still have underlying tensions that can creep up.
0:38.0	And sitting around the table or washing dishes in the kitchen are prime times for those tensions to kind of peek out or run out like a demon possessed and wreak havoc, either right?
0:47.0	Today we're going to answer the question, how can I leave a family gathering with peace in my soul?
0:55.0	We've all been there. We've been on the car ride home with a spouse, a sister, alone with our thoughts and start to think about everything if you that happened.
1:03.0	We've been to our frustrations, we wonder if it'll ever get better, or hurts, or misunderstood, and annoyed at how everyone else can't seem to get it together.
1:14.0	You might not not really experience those kinds of car rides very often, but you have felt frustrated with someone in your family before.
1:22.0	Maybe even the same person over the same things. It's just part of being a person and being in relationship with people.
1:28.0	So let's talk about how to leave a family gathering with peace in your soul.
1:32.0	First, let's look inward. We all want to feel loved, accepted, and safe.
1:39.0	That is true of every human and every part of the world since the beginning of time, and it will be until the end.
1:46.0	What it means to us individually to be accepted, and our definition of safety might be different from someone else's.
1:54.0	I don't really feel particularly loved when my husband cleans the bathroom. I mean, I appreciate it, and I am really glad that he did it.
2:03.0	But I don't necessarily feel loved by that.
2:06.0	You might see safety as the freedom to be fully yourself and take risks, whereas someone who grew up with an abusive parent,
2:14.0	which he's safety is not being hit, not being afraid for their literal safety.
2:19.0	So how we all process and see love and acceptance and safety is very different.
	...

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