4 Reasons Children Seek Validation (And How to Respond)

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 24 September 2018

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent writes that her 5-year-old is constantly asking, “Did I do a good job?” and seeking her parents’ validation. This mom acknowledges that her daughter’s world was rocked when her sister was born almost two years ago, and they’ve been working at supporting her to process her feelings in that regard. Now, she says, although her daughter has “let go a lot of her anger... I can’t help but wonder if it’s the result of being insecure in her relationship with us after her sister was born." For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ). Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com). Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0	So Father's Day is approaching and my books or my master course could very well make
0:08.4	the perfect gift.
0:09.8	If you order my no bad kids master course by Father's Day, you'll also be eligible to
0:14.3	join me for an exclusive Q&A to be held a few days after the big day.
0:20.0	But all parents, grandparents, teachers, and childcare professionals are welcome.
0:24.8	Once you've registered for the course, or if you have already, well, notify UVA email
0:29.3	with a time and link.
0:30.9	I love hosting these and I can't wait to hear from you.
0:37.5	Hi, this is Janet Lansbury.
0:39.5	Welcome to UnRuffled.
0:41.6	In this week's episode, I'm responding to a parent who is concerned because her five
0:47.0	year old seems to be needing a lot of validation, asking, did I do a good job, etc.
0:54.8	And this parent is wondering how to respond without shaking her confidence and also without
1:00.7	getting her hooked on needing outside validation.
1:04.7	Before I begin, here's the message I received.
1:11.2	Hi Janet, I'm the mom of a spirited and sensitive, almost five year old.
1:16.1	When her sister was born almost two years ago, her world was rocked and we've been slowly
1:21.2	but surely working with her to work through her strong feelings.
1:26.5	She's made great strides over the past six months and outside of the normal sibling
1:31.4	issues has let go of a lot of her anger and they play well together most of the time.
1:36.7	There's one thing we're noticing a lot lately though.
1:39.9	She's constantly asking for our validation.
	...

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