Hello and welcome to episode 4 of page 94 the private eye podcast now officially with more episodes than Ed Millerband has had girlfriends

My name is Andrew Hunter Murray and today we will be talking to the eyes master parrodis, Craig Brown, about being raised by nuns

and the perils of taking the piss out of people who turn out to really enjoy it.

Later on, we'll be talking to Heather Mills, one of private eyes investigative team, about murky goings on in the village of Botten.

But before all that, it is of course manifesto time.

One of the most exciting times after Hammer, Greenwich Mean and peanut Buttered Jelly.

The Conservatives have announced that they intend to provide strong leadership, a clear economic plan,

and a brighter, more secure future.

Controversial offers, which will doubtless lose them as many followers as they gain.

Labor, by contrast, are offering a better plan, a better future.

They've announced that they'll be using no conjunctions in between any phrases that they use

until at least 2020.

They've also said that they're going to cut the deficit every single year,

even if they don't really feel like it some years.

The Lib Den Manifesto is twice as long as both the conservative and the labor manifestos,

although to be fair 80 pages of it just consists of Nick Clegg saying I'm so sorry

it won't happen again.

Now Craig Brown has been writing Privatized diary column for an indecently long time.

If you're a famous person in Britain today, it's almost certain that at some point you will have received a Craig Brown skewering.

It turns out, unfortunately, that you may not have minded that. I caught up with Craig about the out of parody.

Before that, here is a clip of him at the National Theatre channeling Richard Dawkins Twitter Feed. a loathsome reminder of the sheer unabashed cruelty of religious belief.

Tweet, predictable tsunami of stupidity greets my condemnation of ice bucket challenge.

...